Why on Earth would anyone do a power ranking of 73 different anything, let alone characters from the same director? Because 25 from one movie would seem like the threshold, right?
Well, Scorsese turns 73 this Tuesday, November 17th. That's incredible. And in that time he's given us everything.
He’s given us both blockbuster hits and commercial flops, daring introspections of psychopaths and masterful documentaries that examined big-picture questions of film and artistry itself.
Look at his contemporaries. Who has made as many films in the same amount of time? His first film, Who’s That Knocking at My Door, came out in 1968. That’s 47 years of film! That’s an eternity!
The only directors still alive who’ve spanned similar timelines with the same or greater amount of success include Steven Spielberg, Bronx native Woody Allen, Francis Ford Coppola, and maybe Ridley Scott.
That list alone is incredible. From decades of beautiful, crazy, holy-hell-I-wasn't-expecting-that narratives, Scorsese’s given us some of the all time greatest characters to hit the screen, so here we are, breaking down the top 73; one for every year he’s lived.
He’s scaled centuries of human history, American and otherwise, in a way that only he ever could.
People have dabbled with their rankings. Whether it's just 11 films, all 36, or whatever. Nobody's gone so far as to do the man justice for his best creations: his characters.
A quick caveat: none of his documentaries are listed, and we didn’t include Kundun anywhere because it was weird to say that the Dalai Lama couldn't crack the Top 50, and well, if he couldn't do that, he couldn't crack the top 73. Same goes for Jesus.
How did we get to this point? How do we justify the way we're ranking these characters? Well, a few things from what we're doing and what we're not.
What we're not doing: Putting main characters because they're main characters, ranking main characters higher because-- again --they're main characters, ranking female characters higher or lower than they should be by virtue of being, well, women (and they're often battered in Scorsese's works).
What we are doing: Trying to rank 73 different characters from nearly two dozen pieces of fiction based on the reaction we had to them in first viewing, how well those characters have stood the test of time in viewings since then, how much the actors' performances had to do with all of it, and how good the film as a complete work was because of/despite them to them.
As for Part I: This bottom half has nothing to do with weakness. This is the spot for important peripheral characters and a few main ones that just aren't good enough to justify a higher ranking. Case in point, Amsterdam from Gangs of New York. Read on, and look out for the next two parts of the series.
73. Amsterdam - Gangs of New York
"When you kill a king, you don't stab him in the dark."
It seems like Gangs would be a higher rated movie. It's good, and in classic Scorsese fashion, it's a little long. Everybody forgets about the second and third act. It's slow, it's not incredible, and then the movie ends with U2 which is easily among the worst things you can do.
Leo's performance though, is great. And we've never gotten such a great look at progressivism in the U.S. like this. If Scorsese's done one brilliant thing, it's that he's been able to focus on immigration, Italian or Irish or whatever, in such an engaging way.
72. Station Inspector - Hugo
"I have mastered three smiles."
We all got excited about the prospects of Scorsese doing a "horror" movie with Shutter Island, and it was kind of disappointing. Because of that, too many people hated on the idea of him doing a kid's movie. Hugo, though? It's brilliant.
71. The Drunk - Mean Streets
"I gotta go to the bathroom."
David Carradine is great in his 5 minutes. Whether it's climbing up on top of the bar and snow-angeling for a second, or coming out of the bathroom while getting shot eight million times, every minute is gold.
70. Easy Andy - Taxi Driver
"Crystal meth. I can get ya crystal meth."
Just look at that suit and hair.
69. Neil - After Hours
Cheech and Chong are great in this film. They get about 2-3 minutes of screen time, but Cheech drops some knowledge each moment.
68. Judas - Last Temptation of Christ
"What's good for man isn't good for God!"
New York Ginger Judas? Enough said.
67. Fitzy - The Departed
"I spent all f***ing night dragging the poor bastard in there. Tell me how they find him so fast? Somebody walking a f***ing dog ? What f***ing size a dog is that? Has to be a big f***ing dog, man. I spent all night doing it man."
This is why he's on the list.
66. Priest Vallon - Gangs of New York
"No, son. The blood stays on the blade."
One solid fight scene (with weird music), and it's Liam effing Neeson.
65. Gail - After Hours
"You're dead pal."
Catherine O'Hara is pretty much gold every time she takes the screen, and she's got a very small, very entertaining role here. She chases Paul Hackett down with a motherf*****g Mister Softee truck!
64.Tony - Mean Streets
"Stay out of my place! I know your face!"
Tony makes it because of his Tiger. He also makes you appreciate The Sopranos more if you never fully realized how many actors in that show had a part in a Scorsese movie.
63. Carmen - The Color of Money
"You win one more game, you're gonna be humping your fist for a long time. Got that, Vincent?"
Carmen is a badass. She's street smart and pretty much holds Vincent together. The Color of Money is almost a great movie until the moment that Fast Eddy gets hustled by Amos and his breakdown is, well, stupid.
62. Spider - Goodfellas
"No, I thought you said you were all right, Spider."
Michael Imperioli had to make this list. There was no way out of it. Is he more important than Judas? Well, yeah.
,61. Cpt. Ellerby - The Departed
"You have an immaculate record. Some guys don't trust an immaculate record. I do. I have an immaculate record."
Alec Baldwin kills the role. Is he too high on the list? No. Every line he has is solid gold. The Departed seems like an under-appreciated movie at times, and the dialogue is pretty trite if you watch it enough. Of course, if you examine it that closely you notice how phenomenal the acting is.
60. Francine - New York, New York
"That was it! That was you proposal, get your coat on, put your shoes on, lets go, lets go, lets go, that was it!"
59. Kersek - Cape Fear
"Well, gee golly gosh. I sure am sorry I offended you, you white trash piece of sh*t."
Way to go, Kersek. Call in the pipe boys for the "hospital jobs." In a Scorsese universe, it's always okay to say people deserved to die because people are always dying. Kersek? Definitely deserved to die.
58. Monk - Gangs of New York
"I've got forty-four notches on my club. Do you know what they're for? They're to remind me what I owe God when I die."
Did not deserve to die. Did not deserve to die. Did not deserve to die.
57. Lester Diamon - Casino
"Can you feel my eyes on you? Can you feel me look into your heart? Can you feel me in the pit of your stomach? Can you feel me in you? In your heart?"
If anything on this list is wrongly placed, it's definitely not Lester Diamond. Casino can be hard to re-watch, and in a culture of easily digestible, non-stop, on-demand media, you're bound to re-watch things. Casino is not one of those things you should. Lester's great, but not great enough.
56. Amos - The Color of Money
"Hey, I want to ask you something, an' I want you to be real honest. Do you think I need to lose some weight?"
Check out The Color of Money. Amos has one of, if not the best scenes in the movie. Of course, it precedes the worst moment in the movie where Paul Newman has an awfully stupid breakdown, but it's a good movie regardless.
55. Salvy - Raging Bull
"I get all full of blood."
Frank Vincent is a good looking man. His best scene is when he gets smashed in a car. He should be ranked a little lower maybe, but most of the cats from the 73-51 range are interchangeable.
54. Mr. French - The Departed
"This is America! If you're not makin' money, then you're a f***in' d*****bag."
53. Jimmy - New York, New York
"Do I look like a gentleman to you in this shirt and these pants?"
As underwhelming as the movie itself is, it's still good De Niro. Of course, it's hard to find bad De Niro prior to 2001.
52. Betsy - Taxi Driver
"Taking me to a place like this is about as exciting as saying to me "Let's f*ck."
Betsy, Betsy, beautiful Betsy. How did she make it here? Get yourself organezized and thimk about it.
51. Tommy's Mom - Goodfellas
"Henry, what's the matter? You don't talk too much?"
Tommy's mom could have gone anywhere on this part of the list, but we put her right on the cusp of the Top 50 because she's Lady Scorsese. She was one of our favorite parts of Goodfellas, so she has a good stake on something great overall. Plus, it's always great when Scorsese family's involved.
Check out part 2 here. Stay tuned tomorrow for the top 25...
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[Feature Image Courtesy ScreenCrush]