Some of New York City's hubs suck. We're talking about how Port Authority is NYC's armpit, how you'd rather open your eyes in a pool orange juice than go to Penn Station, and how Times Square basically represents the unravelling of all humankind.
LaGuardia airport is no better than any of the places we've listed above.
We're sure you already know that LaGuardia is the worst. It's scheduled for a $4 billion revamp. We're not economists or anything, but we're pretty sure that's a lot of money.
Why is LaGuardia so bad that Governor Cuomo authorized this huge overhaul? So huge, in fact, that the plan to redesign and rebuild the airport's space will more than double?
Why is LaGuardia so abysmal that Cuomo said its state was "un-New York?"
Well, we have a ton of reasons why we hate LaGuardia. We hate the overcrowded check-in lines, the unconquerable security lines, and that there's never any room for us to sit at the gate while we're waiting for our planes.
We also hate LaGuardia's chronic lateness. If you've got a flight scheduled to take off at 10 a.m. from LaGuardia, you can pretty much guarantee it won't leave until at least 11:30 a.m.
Why else do we think LaGuardia's the worst place on the planet? Well, we've listed 5 reasons below. If you've been, you probably don't need to read it. You probably know why we hate it.
If you haven't, though, read on to find out why LaGuardia is the worst place on earth.
1. It's overcrowded
acphotomaker #newyork #laguardiaairport #yellowcab #travel
If you've been to LaGuardia, you know what we're talking about. You already know that getting to your flight involves pushing your way through airport terminals so packed, you can hardly breathe.
LaGuardia's latest design, implemented 51 years ago, planned for 8 million fliers per year. Guess what? La Guardia flies 13 million fliers a year.
So that means there are 5 million fliers a year LaGuardia wasn't built for. That there just simply aren't room for.
Which explains why it's impossible to catch a seat at your terminal before your flight, and why you end up leaning against a wall and getting shoved seven times before you can get on your (late) plane.
2. It's falling apart
agswin This is where we're spending tonight - in the food court at #LaguardiaAirport. Have to catch a 6:00 flight in the morning to #LasVegas for a 2-day business trip. Then it'll be on to Kansas City on Friday. #Astros #diehards #HTownPride #HustleTown
LaGuardia hasn't been renovated since 1964. What happened in 1964?
Let's see. In 1964, a gallon of gas 30 cents, a loaf of bread cost 21 cents, and tickets to the movies cost $1.25. We were still fighting Vietnam in 1964, and it's also the same year that Brown verse the Board of Education outlawed segregation.
Our point is, it's been a long time since LaGuardia was renovated. It's dirty and lined with yellow tinted floors and a baggage claim that's so old we're worried it's going to stop running at any second, and we'll be left destitute with no luggage.
Joe Biden said, "If I blindfolded someone and took them at two o'clock in the morning into the airport in Hong Kong and said, 'Where do you think you are?,' they'd say, 'This must be America. It's a modern airport.' If I blindfolded you and took you to LaGuardia Airport in New York, you'd think, 'I must be in some third-world country.'"
NYC is supposed to be the apex of technology, innovation, and culture. This is sort of difficult when we've got a decaying, falling apart airport isn't it?
Port Authority Executive Director Patrick Foye doesn't dispute Biden. He didn't come to the press with a quip about how LaGuardia could be pleasant if you give it a chance.
"Some of our airport terminals rate among the worst in the country in terms of design and overall passenger experience. The need for upgrade is obvious," Foye said.
3. It's terrifying
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LaGuardia's two runways and four terminals are surrounded on three sides by water. Which makes landing petrifying.
Half of LaGuardia's landing paths have a last-minute side turn at a sharp angle, which, more often than not makes several people on the plane shriek with fear that the plane's about to crash.
The point is, we've experienced plenty of situations where we felt much safer than we did while on a plane that was landing at LaGuardia.
Since most of us are pretty sensitive about flying anyway, we'd prefer if NYC's airports could inspire more confidence in us that we'd be leaving the airport safely.,
4. All the planes are late
josephpiper When the Wifi drops out. #Laguardiaairport #NewYork
LaGuardia is plagued with chronic delays.
So far in 2015, only 68% of incoming and outgoing flights at LaGuardia reported zero delays through June 30th, according to the New York Post.
Fewer than 66% of flights arrived on time, and only 70% took off on time. According to the Federal Bureau of Transportation, the performances for arrivals and departures has dropped 3% since last year, so we can't even make ourselves feel better by claiming improvement.
In fact, it ranked dead last most delays in the country. Which is a pretty dismal performance.
Even worse, the check-in areas at LaGuardia are minuscule, the lines at security are out the door, and you'll likely lose all cell phone signal inside the airport.
Plus, they have no free Wi-Fi, which docks LaGuardia even more points from our satisfaction meter.
5. Getting there is hard
josephpiper Entering the 2 hour #NewYork send off that is #Laguardiaairport
Sure, there's a $13 bus you can take from Port Authority, Penn Station and Grand Central to LaGuardia, but it's a slow city bus and is subject to all the delays of traffic, construction, and accidents.
Other than that bus, LaGuardia isn't connected to any sort of public transportation. Plus, as we mentioned, parking is terrible.
As in, there is hardly ever a spot, and you might wind up driving in circles for way longer than you wanted, only to eventually discover a spot you have to spend fifteen minutes maneuvering your car into because it's really too small.
So if you do have to go to LaGuardia, we really recommend taking that bus we mentioned. Luckily, most of the planes at LaGuardia are late, so it probably won't matter too much if you're late too.
[Feature Image Courtesy CNN]