I think it’s pretty obvious that a sober person will say something different than a drunk person when they’re confronted with the same scenario.
Have you ever thought about it? What really is the difference?
The difference is that drunk you is more loving and honest, and sober you is way chiller and relaxed.
Ever wanted to see the differences between drunk and sober texts side-by-side?
Well, then read on to realize 9 most embarrassing moments you send a sober text versus if you were to send that same exact text drunk.
1. After a date
Sober: “So, I had fun with you tonight.”
Drunk: “You are beautiful, and perfect, and I sort of wish you were in my bed.”
The eerie part about this one is that you might not even feel that way still in the morning.
You were probably wasted and feeling extra amicable. But, if you really do feel that way, you just showed all your cards. Good luck getting yourself out of that one homie.
2. Explaining your location
Sober: “We’re at Bleecker Street in the back, with all the ping pong tables. Hope to see you soon!”
Drunk: “Bar. Drunk.”
Hey, drunk girl.
There’s no way your friend is going to find you with those directions. So, you’re not going to see her tonight, and she’s probably going to be mad at you tomorrow.
Sober you was so helpful though! Here's a question. Why were you at the Bleecker Street Bar if you weren't drinking, hm?
3. Telling someone how you feel
Sober: “You’re cool.”
Drunk: “I’m drunk n I luv you.”
Is it less embarrassing because you wrote “luv” instead of “love?” No, no it’s not.
It’s more embarrassing because you look like you're either still in middle school or like you can't spell. And both are bad.
In the morning, you’ll probably wish you threw your phone off the Brooklyn Bridge or swallowed it rather than send this text message.
4. When you want someone to come over
Sober: “Want to come and hang out?”
Drunk: “Come over.”
Sober you did a great job thinking up an activity for you and your crush to do. Having an activity is always a vital move.
It can be food. It can be a specific movie or television show. It can be alcohol but when you ask someone to come over and drink, it makes it pretty obvious what you want.
But if you text someone and say “Come over,” it’s pretty obvious you want to get it in. Drunk you doesn't mess around.
5. When you want to say hello
Sober: “Hey what’s up?”
Drunk: “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”
Everyone knows the more y’s you use, the more shots you’ve downed.
Using that many y’s lets everyone know you’re wasted, so what you’re really saying when you use that many y’s is, “I want you to know I’m drunk so I have an excuse for whatever I’m about to say.”
,6. When you want pizza
Sober: “Hey, what’re you up to? Wanna grab some pizza?”
Drunk: “I NEED YOU NOW. NEED TO GET PIZZA NOW.”
The only thing I can say about this is that pizza is a religion, and that you can never hate anyone for sending this text.
Just, try and send it to your best friend and not your crush, okay?
7. When you want someone to have sex with you
Sober: “Hey, want to maybe get drinks this week?”
Drunk: “Hey, so I have a crush on you and I have for a while. Like, I just can’t handle it when you’re even in the room. Want to come over and talk?”
Of course drunk you used reckless abandon to admit her feelings. She always does that. Come on, drunk you.
The thing about being completely vulnerable and reckless though, is sometimes it works. And if this text works, you’re all set. You’re amazing, and you'll probably be making out within the hour.
If it doesn’t, though. There’s really no coming back from this. This will be the end of your relationship with your crush.
8. When you’re mad at someone
Sober: “K.”
Drunk: “NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN.”
Because drunk you was so dramatic about this situation, you’ll have to talk about it tomorrow.
Which will probably wind up making things go way better than they would’ve gone if you listened to passive-aggressive sober you.
What are you even mad about? That your friend took a cab home without you? Tomorrow, you're going to be very unsure why you got so mad about this.
9. When your crush invites you over
Sober: “Cool, maybe later. Will you be awake for a while?”
Drunk: “In a cab now. See you in ten.”
Sober you is way better at playing it cool than drunk you. Drunk you had just purchased a $14 Jack and Coke when you received that text message.
Drunk you drank your jack and coke in seven successive sips, gave yourself a brain freeze, and ran out of the bar without saying goodbye to your friends.
Sober you continued to hang out with her friends and wound up looking way cooler, but drunk you wound up having way better sex. You choose which one’s better.