Alright Boston. Here's the deal.
We love you. We're into your revolutionary spirit, your cobblestone streets, your idyllic parks and your championship sports teams. (How cute! You've won almost as many championships as we have...)
That being said, we decided to compare your city to New York. Because we love you. And we know there are some things that you beat us in, but there are some things you lose in-- and badly.
So read on to find out who won when Boston and New York City faced off in seven game series to crown the best city in all of the Northeast.
Now may the best city win, eh?
Game 1: There's no bottomless brunch in Boston (Boston 0, NYC 1)
tammybperry Having a mimosa, I mean a few mimosas. #bottomlessbrunch #brunch #sunday #happysunday #divineliving #lux #luxury #goodlife #yum #yummy
The liquor laws in Boston are lame. Restaurants are legally forbidden to sell alcohol on an unlimited basis.
So when you go out to brunch in Boston, you have to pay per mimosa glass. Some restaurants might have a "three mimosas for $20" situation, but you'll never see them bragging about "unlimited mimosas for $20" like you would in NYC.
In NYC we show up to brunch at 11 a.m., pay $20 to $30, and drink nonstop until 1 p.m. We drink an undisclosed amount of mimosas. Who's keeping track? We don't have to.
Then, when our two hours is up, we stagger out into the bright world and frolic around our urban playground.
In Boston, you have to count your mimosas. So you might top out at five. And you'll definitely be tipsy. But you'll always leave brunch knowing how many mimosas you drank.
Game 2: And although Boston is less expensive than we are... (Boston 1, NYC 1)
justindavidmora On our way to the Ireland of America! #BostonvsNYC #GibsonBookstore #Concord #NewHampshire
If you're an New Yorker in Boston, you may experience the following: you go out to dinner and drinks. You eat an appetizer, an entrée, and have three drinks.
You're full expecting to pay $40. And then the bill comes, and you only owe $20.
Though this moment is imbued with euphoria, it also hurts. Because, obviously, New Yorkers can't help imagining how much excess change we'd have jangling in our pockets if this was how much dinner always cost.
Going to the movies in NYC usually costs $15, while going to the movies in Boston costs a slim $7.50.
Which are rough statistics for New Yorkers to swallow.
Game 3. And less crowded (Boston 2, NYC 1)
john_kunar Where's Amanda? #canyouspotthecoffee #candidcamera #crowdednyc #holidayseason @amandablu
In NYC, if you want to see a play as a part of Shakespeare in the Park, you have to get to the park several hours early and wait in line. Or you could travel downtown at noon that day, or participate in an online drawing.
If you live in Boston and you want to see Shakespeare in the Park, you just show up at Boston Commons and plop yourself down when the show's about to start. Or, even in the middle of the play. You'll probably still find a seat.
You're less likely to barrage your way down a street shoving gawkers and tourists out of your way because you're late to work.
It makes complete sense: almost one million people live in Boston, while 8.3 million people live in NYC.
So, of course, New York is more crowded.
Game 4. There's way less diversity (Boston 2, NYC 2)
Sure, Boston, you have a Chinatown. And you are are admittedly a popular tourist destination. We can't deny that. You have 12 million annual visitors to your city, according to cityofboston.gov.
But, we hate to break it to you, we have 56.4 million visitors per year. In fact, 12.2 million of our tourists are international. So, we have more international tourists than you have tourists. Total.
NYC is the most linguistically diverse city in the world, and we're the cultural capital of the world, so you never really stood a chance.,
Game 5. That being said, Boston is slightly more livable (Boston 3, NYC 2)
francois_pams "A heart worth loving is one you understand, even in silence." Shannon L. Alder #bostonfromthesky #Boston #charlesriver #thetower #prudential #hancock #colors #afternoon #lawschool #bostoninapic #igerboston #whatsupboston
The politics of Boston and NYC both rock. It's not a competition who wins the elections in Massachusetts and New York. Democrats come out on top every time.
It's good to know we're on the same page when it comes to human rights and equality.
Boston is at the forefront of medical research in the country, and is an extremely livable city. We love living in NYC, though, because it makes us tougher.
But maybe, just because Boston is more relaxed and affordable, Beantown is a bit more livable than NYC.
But just a tiny bit.
Game 6. But, there's way less niche stuff up in Boston (Boston 3, NYC 3)
reachill Augustana and Boys Like Girls at Out of the box Boston festival yesterday #outoftheboxboston #mutantdragonflys #mariojumps #obliviousasians #needysinger LOL
Boston is just smaller than NYC. That's really all there is to it.
So, no, there isn't a restaurant in Boston that only sells pickles. But if you live in NYC, check out the Pickle Shack in Park Slope.
Edible Boston said "the craft food revival is not just happening in hipster Brooklyn. Boston's got it going on, too, only ours is a little low-key, and without the attitude."
Well, Edible Boston, sorry you think we have an attitude, but other than that we think you got it pretty right.
You are killing it too, just on a smaller scale than we are.
You know how if you miss a concert in NYC, you can find another one pretty much immediately, right? But if you miss the concert you wanted to see in Boston, you're basically SOL.
And that just sucks.
Game 7. Boston bars close at 2 a.m. (Boston 3 , NYC 4)
jtellison I love my city! #nyc #NY #empirestate #summer #nycatnight #love #city #thisismylife
Come on, you just knew that 2 a.m. curfew was going to be the deciding factor here.
Yeah, Boston, it sucks that your bars close at 2 a.m. It makes it really hard to get our dance on when the bars close two hours earlier than our bars. It makes it way harder to go home with your soulmate if we have two fewer hours to meet them.
We get it. You can't go as hard as NYC. We're not hating too hard, we know what it's like to love sleep. We just love going harder later more than we love sleep, apparently.
All that being said, we still love our East Coast neighbors. We respect what you're up to. And we respect how you respect all people.
And who knows, you might even find us up there sometime in the near future. You down for that?[Feature Image Courtesy: The Daily Beast]