Let’s face it: when you're living life moment-to-moment, it’s much easier to say you’ll never do something again than it is to actually never do it again. Here’s a perfect example: McDonald’s.
When you’re starving and poor, a McDonald’s cheeseburger sounds perfect. It’s cheap and it’s delicious.
And you’re standing right outside a McDonald’s... because they’re everywhere. So you give in, and buy that cheeseburger.
But when it’s an hour later, you have a stomachache, and your jeans don’t fit... well, look up the word regret in the dictionary and see a picture of yourself.
You then vow to never eat at McDonald’s again. Three weeks from now, though, you’re probably going to wind up going back on that vow.
What other 5 things does every New Yorker say they'll never do again, but wind up doing anyway? Read on, young Jedi and learn from your mistakes... well, maybe.
1. Getting it on without a condom
Having sex is great... everyone loves it. Well, everyone except asexuals and Puritans.
There is, however, a whole ton of pressure from society to use condoms: they protect against sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies. But what do condoms do? Well, they make gettin' it on a bit of a... bummer.
But then when you’re frantically checking to see if you’ve gotten your period or wondering whether you should sign yourself up for an STD test, you sort of wind up wishing you just used it instead. In the moment, though? Meh.
We all know this is a mistake that, though you swear you’ll never do again, you will. And you'll regret it the next time too.
2. Spend $5 at Starbucks
Here’s the scene: you’ve just gotten off the subway after a long-ass day; it’s raining, you’re freezing, and borderline exhausted.
And will you look at that? There’s a Starbucks strategically placed right by your subway stop, just calling your name.
You take the bait, just this once. You know a double, dirty, tall Chai Tea latte is really the only thing that could make you feel better right now. When the price comes up on the cash register, you shrug. You can pay $5 for this tiny drink-- it’s not like you’ll ever do this again.
Except, the tea is totally worth it. The steam curls into the freezing, rainy air, and its warmth just feels so right on your tongue and then sliding down your throat. The espresso shot its infused with skyrocket your morale too.
And then the hard truth stares relentlessly back at you: you will definitely spend $5 on this tiny cup of tea again. And you'll hate yourself for it again.
3. Spend $15 on a cocktail
$15 doesn’t sound so bad when it’s only one drink. But you’re a New Yorker, and let’s be real: you’re not just going to have one drink. You’re just not.
So, six drinks later when you’re slightly buzzed and feeling good, you throw caution to the wind. You buy shots for yourself and all your friends.
The next morning, however, when you check your bank statement, it’s a pretty bad feeling to find out you spent $100-- yes, $100 during happy hour.
You didn’t read that wrong. You spent $100. So how do you handle this mistake?
You guessed it. The only way to make yourself feel better about this one is to swear that you’ll never do it again. And you probably won’t... for at least a couple weeks.
At least until your next paycheck, so you can convince yourself you’re a semi-responsible adult who has at least the tiniest regard for the future.
Next time you’re back at that fancy speakeasy, though, and the cocktails are $15 again?
You’ll probably buy a few. And then you can blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.
,4. Stay out on a Thursday night past 4 a.m.
So, again, New Yorkers are simply category-breakers. We love resisting convention, and as far as resisting convention goes, there’s just no resisting the allure of some weeknight partying.
It’s super easy to pretend the morning will never come when you’re downing beers at 10, at 12, and even at 2 a.m.
When it’s 3 a.m. though, and the bar is closing in an hour and you’re wasted, there’s no pretending. You’re not going to feel well at work tomorrow.
You could go home and try to block off a solid four hours of sleep, but the guy you have a crush on is grinning at you, and your favorite song just came on... and you’re not leaving anytime soon.
The next day at work, when the world is spinning and every conversation sounds like a dull roar on the brink of chaos, you swear, pledge, beg yourself never to stay out that late again on a weeknight.
But, you probably will. Oh well. #YOLO
5. Go home with a complete stranger
This is actually the least of your problems.
You smoked twelve cigarettes tonight and your lungs are probably going to collapse out of your chest tomorrow.
You got in a screaming fight with your roommate, and though you meant everything you said, you’ll definitely regret this one.
So, the fact that you succumbed to your physical desires, and went home with a hottie you met at the bar really isn’t so bad in comparison. Except, is he really a hottie? How thick were those beer goggles?
When you wake up in the morning next to a guy who looks nothing like the hunk you met at the bar, don’t be surprised if the thought comes to your head: I will never go home with a rando again.
Except, you know you will... and everyone else knows you will too. Well, whatever.
Got more regrets? Check out 14 Stupid Things New Yorkers Do When They're Drunk.
[Feature Image Courtesy: Scopit]