Let’s face it: when you're living life moment-to-moment, it’s much easier to say you’ll never do something again than it is to actually never do it again. Here’s a perfect example: McDonald’s.
When you’re starving and poor, a McDonald’s cheeseburger sounds perfect. It’s cheap and it’s delicious.
And you’re standing right outside a McDonald’s... because they’re everywhere. So you give in, and buy that cheeseburger.
But when it’s an hour later, you have a stomachache, and your jeans don’t fit... well, look up the word regret in the dictionary and see a picture of yourself.
You then vow to never eat at McDonald’s again. Three weeks from now, though, you’re probably going to wind up going back on that vow.
What other 5 things does every New Yorker say they'll never do again, but wind up doing anyway? Read on, young Jedi and learn from your mistakes... well, maybe.
1. Getting it on without a condom
Having sex is great... everyone loves it. Well, everyone except asexuals and Puritans.
There is, however, a whole ton of pressure from society to use condoms: they protect against sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies. But what do condoms do? Well, they make gettin' it on a bit of a... bummer.
But then when you’re frantically checking to see if you’ve gotten your period or wondering whether you should sign yourself up for an STD test, you sort of wind up wishing you just used it instead. In the moment, though? Meh.
We all know this is a mistake that, though you swear you’ll never do again, you will. And you'll regret it the next time too.
2. Spend $5 at Starbucks
Here’s the scene: you’ve just gotten off the subway after a long-ass day; it’s raining, you’re freezing, and borderline exhausted.
And will you look at that? There’s a Starbucks strategically placed right by your subway stop, just calling your name.
You take the bait, just this once. You know a double, dirty, tall Chai Tea latte is really the only thing that could make you feel better right now. When the price comes up on the cash register, you shrug. You can pay $5 for this tiny drink-- it’s not like you’ll ever do this again.
Except, the tea is totally worth it. The steam curls into the freezing, rainy air, and its warmth just feels so right on your tongue and then sliding down your throat. The espresso shot its infused with skyrocket your morale too.
And then the hard truth stares relentlessly back at you: you will definitely spend $5 on this tiny cup of tea again. And you'll hate yourself for it again.
3. Spend $15 on a cocktail
$15 doesn’t sound so bad when it’s only one drink. But you’re a New Yorker, and let’s be real: you’re not just going to have one drink. You’re just not.
So, six drinks later when you’re slightly buzzed and feeling good, you throw caution to the wind. You buy shots for yourself and all your friends.
The next morning, however, when you check your bank statement, it’s a pretty bad feeling to find out you spent $100-- yes, $100 during happy hour.
You didn’t read that wrong. You spent $100. So how do you handle this mistake?
You guessed it. The only way to make yourself feel better about this one is to swear that you’ll never do it again. And you probably won’t... for at least a couple weeks.
At least until your next paycheck, so you can convince yourself you’re a semi-responsible adult who has at least the tiniest regard for the future.
Next time you’re back at that fancy speakeasy, though, and the cocktails are $15 again?
You’ll probably buy a few. And then you can blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.