Oh, we're supposed to be ashamed about that thing we did? Well, we aren't.
Sometimes being a New Yorker involves yelling in public, having embarrassing cell phone conversations at volumes audible to others (many others, many, many others).
Or sometimes, we do things like order Seamless at 4 a.m... or have sex with someone we're really not all that into.
Here are 8 things all New Yorkers do that we're totally not ashamed of... even though maybe we should be (just a little bit)?
1. Not giving up seat on the subway for an elderly or pregnant woman
Sometimes, I’m just exhausted. We all are. This is a tough city, and we all do a lot of running around. When we get on the subway, we sort of just want to kick back and relax.
I know I’m supposed to give my seat to old people, and that I should probably give my seat to pregnant women too. But sometimes it’s difficult to tell-- is that person old enough that their elderliness demands I should give them my seat? And is that woman preggs or just overweight?
I’ll admit it. I stare at my book, or my shoes, or my service-less phone, anything to avoid noticing who’s getting on the subway that might need my seat more than me.
Sometimes... I just really want to sit.
2. Having sex with someone who you're just not all that into
We all want to get it on. Anyone who says they don’t is either lying or asexual. We all want the delicious validation that accompanies sex. It’s totally normal.
But if someone has a crush on you, and you don’t feel the same way, you probably shouldn’t sleep with that person. It will just up the ante in terms of their feelings toward you, and make things more confusing and devastating for everyone involved.
But if you’re horny and or lonely, and someone who likes you is texting you relentlessly... sometimes we give in, go over, get naked, and do it like they do on The Discovery Channel.
Even though we know we shouldn't.
3. Crossing the street when it’s not our turn
As a pedestrian, I get very, very frustrated when there are cars in the crosswalk as the walk signal is lit. It’s tough being a pedestrian out there, and our commute is just as important as yours, even if you’re in a car.
Keep in mind, cars, we’re all navigating the same streets. New York City is walker’s territory, and using your horns against us is like bombing an unarmed town.
On the flip side, I don’t feel lesser than drivers as a pedestrian. NYC definitely has an eat-or-be-eaten attitude out there on the streets, and if I’m a rush and there’s a lull in the traffic-- I’m crossing even if it’s not my turn.
4. Taking up an entire seat on the subway with your bag
Gasp! I am aware how forbidden this is in terms of NYC subway etiquette. I am aware of this one because of an old woman who called me out for this.
But anyway, the point is that we New Yorkers will put their bag on the seat if we can, and we’ll go up to someone with a demanding “Excuse me,” if we can too.
That “Excuse me,” is basically a euphemism for, “Move your effin' bag, lady!” and I use it often.