Oh, we're supposed to be ashamed about that thing we did? Well, we aren't.
Sometimes being a New Yorker involves yelling in public, having embarrassing cell phone conversations at volumes audible to others (many others, many, many others).
Or sometimes, we do things like order Seamless at 4 a.m... or have sex with someone we're really not all that into.
Here are 8 things all New Yorkers do that we're totally not ashamed of... even though maybe we should be (just a little bit)?
1. Not giving up seat on the subway for an elderly or pregnant woman
Sometimes, I’m just exhausted. We all are. This is a tough city, and we all do a lot of running around. When we get on the subway, we sort of just want to kick back and relax.
I know I’m supposed to give my seat to old people, and that I should probably give my seat to pregnant women too. But sometimes it’s difficult to tell-- is that person old enough that their elderliness demands I should give them my seat? And is that woman preggs or just overweight?
I’ll admit it. I stare at my book, or my shoes, or my service-less phone, anything to avoid noticing who’s getting on the subway that might need my seat more than me.
Sometimes... I just really want to sit.
2. Having sex with someone who you're just not all that into
We all want to get it on. Anyone who says they don’t is either lying or asexual. We all want the delicious validation that accompanies sex. It’s totally normal.
But if someone has a crush on you, and you don’t feel the same way, you probably shouldn’t sleep with that person. It will just up the ante in terms of their feelings toward you, and make things more confusing and devastating for everyone involved.
But if you’re horny and or lonely, and someone who likes you is texting you relentlessly... sometimes we give in, go over, get naked, and do it like they do on The Discovery Channel.
Even though we know we shouldn't.
3. Crossing the street when it’s not our turn
As a pedestrian, I get very, very frustrated when there are cars in the crosswalk as the walk signal is lit. It’s tough being a pedestrian out there, and our commute is just as important as yours, even if you’re in a car.
Keep in mind, cars, we’re all navigating the same streets. New York City is walker’s territory, and using your horns against us is like bombing an unarmed town.
On the flip side, I don’t feel lesser than drivers as a pedestrian. NYC definitely has an eat-or-be-eaten attitude out there on the streets, and if I’m a rush and there’s a lull in the traffic-- I’m crossing even if it’s not my turn.
4. Taking up an entire seat on the subway with your bag
![[via thechive.com]](/2015/04/4_thechive.com_.jpg)
Gasp! I am aware how forbidden this is in terms of NYC subway etiquette. I am aware of this one because of an old woman who called me out for this.
But anyway, the point is that we New Yorkers will put their bag on the seat if we can, and we’ll go up to someone with a demanding “Excuse me,” if we can too.
That “Excuse me,” is basically a euphemism for, “Move your effin' bag, lady!” and I use it often.
,5. Asking randoms for party favors
... Because party favors rock. All the bars in NYC are open until 4 a.m., so how is anyone expected to party that long without some reinforcement?
The point is, sometimes all we want to do is party... and the bartender might have what we need to go the distance. But how would we ever know if we never asked them... am I right?
6. Hooking up in a bathroom stall
In addition to perhaps doing an occasional party favor or three in the bathroom stall, there are also other fun activities which New Yorkers shamelessly engage in bathroom stalls.
I’ve hooked up twice in some Bleecker Street bar’s bathroom with two separate people, and I’m not upset at all about it.
Okay, I’m a little upset about one of them. But I’m pretty stoked about the other one. Sometimes, our apartments are just too damn far and we want to touch each other. Like now.
7. Order Seamless when it's 4 a.m.
Since Seamless exists on the 'net, it’s easy to forget there are actual humans involved. Seamless consistently markets itself as the better solution to actually (gasp!) talking to someone on the phone.
They brag about their process: “tap, tap, food.” Which is, of course, amazing. I love pressing three buttons on my phone and then having French fries at my door twenty minutes later.
But there are people who actually deliver that food, who have to ride their bikes in the dead of the night to bring that Seamless food. And I know this, and yet I’ve ordered Seamless during the dead of the night regardless. A girl's gotta eat though, right?
8. Getting completely ossified at brunch
Drinking twelve mimosas at 1 p.m. on a Sunday is a perfectly acceptable facet of adulthood in New York City.
Why would they advertise mimosas as "all you can drink" if they didn't want us to black out, start yelling at the waiters, break glasses, knock over chairs, and flirt with the totally uninterested gay guys at the next table?
Last weekend, our waiter at brunch told my friends and I to quiet down. Admittedly, we were screaming at the top of our lungs in reaction to my friend's story, but that waiter didn't hear how ridiculous her story was.
If he did, he'd be screaming too... obviously.
If you enjoyed this article, check out 11 Things New Yorkers Do That Make Absolutely No Sense!