Hey New York City Subway,
How are you? I’m... okay. I’m sorry this letter is going to be a little awkward, but our relationship isn’t working out.
You’re probably wondering why I’m ending things.
Things were going so well between us. And they were going great for a little while. There’s no denying we had a good run.
And I know that when we first started dating, I loved you more than you loved me. I know that. I was so excited about you at first. I thought you were strong and sleek, beautiful and honest.
To me, you represented power and possibility. I couldn’t get enough of you back then. See, that’s the thing about relationships. There’s usually a power imbalance, and sometimes relationships don't end the way we expect them to.
When I first moved to this city, you did have the power. I thought you were amazing. I thought you were perfect for me. And you were. This doesn’t diminish what we used to have.
There were plenty of days you whisked me where I wanted to go, sent me flawlessly humming through your tunnels and stops.
[anad]
You darted me to class and bars and work and readings. I spent plenty of evenings nestled against your seats, reading my books, listening to music, comfortably people watching.
I used to love getting high in my apartment and then having you roar me through the underground tunnel ways of my heart. I used to love blasting music in my ears and letting you pour the light of New York City, all over my head until I was drenched.
While riding you, I met nice people, beautiful people, sweet people, and, on the rare occasion someone was mean to me, that was even okay. Because I knew you loved me.
But those days are now over. I know you don’t love me anymore.
You’ve been too passive aggressive to me for too long, and I’m no longer putting up with it. I’m calling you out. Like what’s with the price hike? You want me to give more and more, while you’ve been giving me less and less.
Not only are you smelly, crowded, and late, nowadays you never show up at all. Even when you promised you would. Even when I really needed you.
[anad2]
Now, every time I get inside you, there are forty other people trying to do the same thing.
I can hardly find space to stand, let alone ever consider finding a seat. I’m lucky if I find space on a pole to hold onto, and if I do, I’m rubbing hands with someone I definitely don’t want to be rubbing hands with. I have to tilt my head to the ceiling so I can even breathe sometimes.
,I know there are germs squirming invisibly on your poles and seats too. If you didn’t want me to touch you, you should have just told me.
Whenever I ride your crowded-ass trains, I’m left standing somewhere in the middle of a car.
There’s no way I could possibly make my way to a pole. I’m left getting tossed and shoved, and trying to keep my legs shoulder-width apart and my knees bent, so I don’t go toppling over when you turn corners.
Don’t even get me started about the vomit on your seats, the pee at your stops, and the dirt and trash in your tracks.
I know you’ve been abused in your past, but that’s no reason to continue that trend into the future. I need someone who wants to look good for me.
I think you had the best intentions. I really do. I just think you tried to please too many people, and that left you spread too thin. And that’s not cool with me.
It’s not cool for you to promise me 30-day unlimited service, and then, once you have my money in your back pocket, you decide not to run on the weekends.
What’s with that? You think that counts as unlimited service? Never running on the weekends sounds pretty limited to me.
[anad]
Why would I give you my money for “unlimited service” and then have to pay for cabs all weekend? Really, tell me why?
Also, I know all the construction on 2nd Avenue is all your fault. It’s your fault I have to breathe in smog and dust and walk along ugly, walled-in tarps. Did you think building a new line would make me forget your old ones weren’t good enough?
It’s not going to work. I’m not going to be distracted by the 2nd Ave subway’s shiny newness, and forget about all your selfishness in the past.
I’m sorry. But I need to be with someone who keeps her promises. You promise 24-hour service? And yet, when I try to ride you at 4 a.m., I have to wait a half hour.
Then when you finally do come, I have try not to have a panic attack while the car stalls on the tracks unmoving, underground in the dark for a half hour. Honestly, you’re just not worth it to me anymore.
[anad2]
I know what your next question will be, and yes. There is someone else. I’m leaving you for my feet, for my bike, and for the bus.
Although I’d like to try and still be friends...
Your former lover,
Sara
If you enjoyed this article, check out the 7 Nerve-Racking Stages of Finding a Seat on the NYC Subway!