7. Never do anything touristy
Thousands, probably millions of people throughout the world are Googling flights, reading books, and making plans to come to NYC. They’re going to take a ferry to the Statue of Liberty, ride to the top of the Empire State Building, and take a guided tour of the city.
The irony? You, a New Yorker, will never do any of these things.
You haven’t been to the Statue of Liberty since your 2nd grade field trip. You’ve never been to the Empire State Building, and you’ve never taken a tour of NYC. You don’t know that Wall Street was named Wall Street because it used to have a wall to protect the Dutch against the British, you didn’t even know that the High Line used to be a train track.
This summer, my Israeli girlfriend came to visit me and we took a tour. Afterwards, she knew way more things about New York than I did. And she doesn’t even live in America.
7. Never wear seat belts in cabs
Because cabs are magic, right? And can never kill you? Who needs to survive anyway?
The irony here is that cabs do not drive safely. They’re much more concerned with their profit margin than they are about safety.
Maybe that’s an unfair generalization, but, we should probably start collectively wearing our seat belts more. Because, newsflash, cabs aren't magic. I know, I know, I hope you were sitting down.
9. Go to chain restaurants
I live in East Harlem, mere blocks away from the best tacos in America. And yet, I still go to Taco Bell when I’m hungover on Sunday mornings. Why? Well, they don’t have Chalupas at that obscure taco place, do they?
Nah, I’m kidding. I should totally explore my neighborhood more often, and I definitely will soon. Besides, who needs another Dunkin' Donuts in this city?
10. Get annoyed by film crews
Everyone else in America would be stoked if there were a film crew trailer parked outside their apartment. They’d probably spend hours crouched outside the trailer, waiting for a glimpse of their favorite celebrity from their favorite show.
But New Yorkers? We’re like, meh. We might say, “What show is this?” And the guy might respond with our favorite show, and we might just shrug our shoulders and keep walking.
But you bet we’ll be in front of our TVs to watch the newest episode tonight.
11. Be hypocritical
I spend a lot of my life plotting to murder the people who stop walking right in front of me.
But when I went to send a text? You better bet I'm going to stop wherever and whenever I want. My socializing is urgent.
If you enjoyed this article, check out the 5 White Lies That All Late New Yorkers Tell!