New Yorkers, we’re cool. We’re chilling. But we are living weird lives.
You see, the laws of the jungle that is New York City are different than those in the rest of America.
Like, no one else in America strides in front of cars like they don’t care whether they live or die. No one else in America is so casual about a rat sighting.
What else do New Yorkers do that would be considered absurd anywhere else? Here are 11 of 'em.
1. Go to the same places over and over again
We’re not immune to the capitalist struggles of having a favorite place or two.
I’ve been to a bunch of restaurants dozens of times, and I frequent the same five or so bars every weekend. There’s really no excuse for this, so I won’t try and make one up.
Could anyone visit all of the bars in NYC in a single lifetime? I don’t know, I’m not a research scientist.
2. Buy a 30-day MetroCard and then take cabs all month
To be fair... this one isn’t really our fault. When all subways ever are running express, and even the express trains are running super duplex express, it’s usually pretty impossible to find a subway that will bring you anywhere on the weekend.
But... I mean. I shouldn’t make too many excuses for us. We do this, and we do it often.
Cabs are so much more convenient than the subway so, that’s why.
3. Ignore all the street signals
Why do we think we’re as tough as cars? Like, really. It’s normal for my roommate and I to scream at three cars each while we’re walking to the subway in the morning.
I wouldn’t stand a chance in a physical competition against a car. But New York City pedestrians just think we’re so tough.
Are the flashing walk signs some really elaborate, widespread public art? Probably.
4. Ignore a rat sighting
Anyone in any other city would probably be really weirded out by seeing a rat. At least, I think they would.
But I see rats more than I see some of my good friends who also live in NYC. So, the rats are my friends. And that’s why I don’t think seeing them is weird.
Because that makes perfect sense, right?
5. Get wasted on a Tuesday, but stay in on a Saturday
Because going out on Saturday is so cliché. And going out on Tuesday is so category breaking, it’s so innovative.
Us New Yorkers just love pushing the envelope, how original of us.
6. Complain about money constantly, then spend $60 on brunch
I can’t remember why I put this one on the list... isn’t brunch necessary for survival?
Well, it’s really f*cking fun, so. Who needs weekly groceries when you can have one day of unlimited mimosas?