Need it be said again? Any socially self-respecting New Yorker's most important meal of the week is brunch.
You see, most calendars across all of the five boroughs (except maybe Staten Island) are organized around this weekend tradition.
Be that as it may, I haven't fully grasped why it's so great-- but it is. Truth is, if you've never been to brunch and your friends have, you're left with one feeling. And that's brunch envy.
So here it is, without any further hesitation: the 9 types of brunches in NYC and who frequents them. And trust me, keep this guide handy, as you'll come back to it time and time again.
Who: Bottomless Bitches
If these are your kind of brunch places, then we all know you brunch to get buzzed... really fu*kin' buzzed.
I mean, there's really no other legitimate way to get away with day drinking; you see, it's absolutely socially acceptable to get hammered in the middle of the day in New York City-- most especially on the weekends.
The chances are that the “Bottomless Bitches” are pretty tired of having to drink the same ol' classic cocktails, but they know there's nowhere else in the city they are going to get a hearty meal and get as sh*t-faced as they want for under $28.
Who: Social Butterflies
If you have brunched at one of these spots, then you're part of a social squad.
Basically, the "Social Butterflies" like their brunches with 6 sides of best friends to catch up and gossip with, especially after a heavy work week.
It's not so much about the fancy Eggs Benedict or artistic culinary in the form or waffles; it's really about the the company (a couple of mimosas wouldn't hurt, either). All of these spots are great for bigger groups and are reasonably priced with brunch drink deals.
Who: Trendy Families
If you're brunching at these spots, it's highly likely your part of a trendy family.
That could mean a young family, a teenage family or older, or it could simply mean your parents are visiting and you know the right places to take them because you're a trendy brunch-know-it-all.
All these brunch restaurants are kid-friendly as well, and not ridiculously overpriced either.
Who: Artsy Instagrammers
For those of you who love to take that birds-eye view pic of your brunch (followed by using a VSCO Cam app fashionable filter) before posting to Instagram with that artsy brunch caption...
I'm more than sure the artsy brunch folk have had a brunch or two at these places. Your brunch priority solely lies in taking that prized Instaphoto and adding to that already artsy social media presence of yours.
Who: Brunchers Who Have Nothing Better to Do
... than to do the brunch party. If you already know what I'm talking about, then you are one of those brunchers with nothing better to do on a Saturday than to start boozing at Lavo by about 2 p.m.
The sole purpose of this brunch is to drink your body weight in champagne from a magnum sized bottle, dance on the tables until you're told to leave (completely trashed with 12 glow sticks in your hands, by the way).
Who: Brunchers with Baes
Theses brunch places are ideal for the cutesy couples who love to use brunch as a date idea.
If you go to brunch with your other half, you want somewhere comfortable, cozy and casual, and of course with a great menu-- and these places have all of that and then some. Enjoy it!
Who: College Kids
Just because you're in college and your budget is tight doesn't mean you shouldn't get a great NYC brunch experience under your belt: a hearty breakfast meal and a drink... or four.
We all know what it's like to be in college on a budget... yep, it sucks. These places are where you should camp out every weekend, so get going and remember: drink somewhat responsibly.
Who: Hungover Messes
For all of the New Yorkers with a hangover that the best NYC coffee can't cure, these places is for you.
If you've had a heavy night out and you're dying for the comfort of all comfort foods, look no further than these establishments to do the job the best that they can.
Who: Seriously Hungover Messes
Where: Your bed, your couch
You got a Seamless account? Use it.
If you enjoyed this article, check out these 10 Bangin’ Brunches to Chow Down on in NYC!