It's a Wonderful Life: 16 Glorious Realizations Every Ex-Party Girl Has

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There comes a time when every New York City party girl must turn in her favorite pair of stiletto heels, hang up her bandage dress, and peel off the fake eyelashes.

A conscious decision may not necessarily be made, but there does come a point when life no longer revolves around champagne, cocaine, cigarettes, after hours.

You see, there comes a point where your life starts to revolve around 2 p.m. weekend brunches instead. Here are 16 other realizations every ex-NYC party girl has... eventually.


1. You look forward to spending your Friday and Saturday nights in front of the TV

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And by that, I obviously mean ploughing through a season of House Of Cards on Netflix.


2. You shudder at the thought of Marquee and 1Oak

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How were these ever your old stomping grounds?!


3. People who you thought you were friends have vanished off the face of the earth

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#NightlifeFriends


4. You don't miss twerking on the tables at Lavo

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Ratchet girls, everywhere.


5. Brunch is all about your closest friends (or dates)

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It's crazy, right? Now you can actually hear what the person across from you is saying.


6. Not sleeping until 1 p.m. feels wondrous

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Early bird catches the worm and all that.


7. Consistently waking up without a raging hangover looks and feels beautiful  

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And you look fresh-faced and fabulous, just like Bey.


8. The feeling in your feet is back forever

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10 hours in heels 4 times a week have officially destroyed those toots.


9. Spending your money on apartment improvements (instead of dresses) makes you feel like an adult

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FOMO turns to JOMO. Ex-party girls have been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and even bought the store.


10. Not doing drugs or smoking cigarettes make you feel like a new human being

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This saves you so much more money than one can ever imagine.


11. Subway rides home at 8 a.m. on a Wednesday (in last night's outfit) have blissfully become a thing of the past

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How did you do this every week!?!


12. You start to use Google to find under-the-radar restaurants

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Because there's a lot more out there than the scene-y restaurants you've been hanging out at.


13. You realize just how great an 8 hour sleep-- sober-- can be

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Admit it, not waking up four times dehydrated as fu*k, looking like Tuna the dog, is glorious.


14.  You realize how much fun happy hours really are

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Cheap and early, just the way you like it nowadays!


15. Saving huge amounts of money on those drunken cab fares feels incredible

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Because we all turn into millionaires when we're 3 drinks in.


16. Saving soooo much money on laundry-- because your clothes don't reek of cigarettes and sweat-- has never felt so right

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Ew.

If you enjoyed this article, check out Party Girls: When the Convo Moves From the Dance Floor to the Bathroom!

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