Welcome to the 21st century! Where there are no jobs, international relations suck, and the economy has been in the crapper for quite a while now! All while a new generation comes into adulthood with the crippling anxiety of failure and poverty. 'Murica!
No matter how confident we are that we're going to succeed eventually, we've still got to "pay our dues" in the meantime. Which is a philosophical way of saying, "We don't want to pay you under the guise of a life lesson."
So then you have to start making the hard decisions. Delivery for dinner or new socks?
To help put your mind at ease (with the realization that you're not alone in making these decisions), here are 12 desperate things your fellow Gen Y'ers secretly do to save money in NYC.
1. Gut your digestive system with endless ramen dinners
Unemployed without any savings for the summer of 2014, I invested in weekly boxes of chicken flavored Top Ramen. However, as much as I honesty love the taste (add some garlic salt and it’s divine!), my bowels will never be the same. Why am I surprised, though?
A sh*t ton of salt plus a sh*t ton of preservatives makes for one gut wrenching meal. Going down, it tastes like a messed up idea of home cooking, but, an hour later, you want to die.
Especially when you’re really hungry and you eat three packets at once. But I wouldn’t know anything about that.
2. Endure piercing cold weather for free anything
Chills are temporary, but a few dollars saved lasts forever. That’s how the phrase goes, right? Well, it does now. When I get my hands on a coupon for one free iced coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts, there’s no stopping me from getting it. Even if it’s furiously snowing outside.
So what if the condensation seeps into my gloves and freezes? Who cares if I start shaking so hard that I risk dropping the iced coffee?
At the end of the day, I’m one caffeine trip closer to becoming fiscally responsible. It makes sense in my head, alright?!
3. Walk 15 or more minutes for free parking
We all could use a little extra exercise, anyways. Going anywhere popular in a big city is always a nightmare if you have to drive.
There’s only so many times you can circle the parking lot before an outdoor mall starts to seem a little unnecessary. No Teavana sale is worth that much time.
In my home city, I used to park half a mile away from the hipster part of town since nightlife packed in a single intersection always leads to trouble. Keep in mind, it would also be an upwards of 80 degrees outside.
I liked to think of it as my own sauna-power walking exercise.
4. Eat Starbucks food... for dinner... using gift cards
Have you had their ham and swiss panini? I’d gladly eat those for any meal! My old man is a little obsessed with Starbucks and we used to stop by every morning before school. Unhealthy, but, hey, it made for some great memories.
Though it might have been a problem that Donna the barista memorized our voices.
Anyways, the Starbucks gift card is a magically versatile thing. While you could easily get a few lattes, but you could get yourself an entire meal with it. And I don’t just mean their little cheese and fruit box crap.
With locations around every corner, it’s not like you’d be going out of your way to save.
5. Risk your computer’s health to torrent music
If you still buy music, please raise your hand because I think your kind is either endangered or straight up gone. Look, it’s great that you support artists. Because, you know, people like Drake a really roughing it.
However, it’s just too easy to get it all for free these days to not do it at all!
Besides, there’s way too much to listen to these days and paying for it would practically be like rent. Only a little more fun. If you’re an avid music connoisseur who pays for music, you could be out hundreds of dollars every month. Do you really want to deal with that? I’m just sayin’…
6. Lug your dirty clothes to their friend’s dorm for free laundry
College students everywhere! Heed my word! Make friends with the classes under you! Why? Because they’ll let you use the things college lets you have for free that the world makes you pay out the ass for.
Like laundry! Two/three dollars per load makes me miss the days of my mother lagging me.In all seriousness, though, times is hard so take advantage of whatever you can whenever you can.
If you have a friend who lives in a dorm with a chill guest policy, then get your ass there to clean your clothes. If you friend think you’re using them, just tell them they’ll understand when they’re older.
,7. Leave your credit cards at home (or with a trusted friend)
Yes, some of us are just that hopeless. If I’m out and I pass a store with wallets that look like bacon, it’s over. I’ll somehow convince myself that these trinkets are worth not eating the next day or two.
While we shouldn’t rely on our friends to be responsible, you have to do what you can in the meantime.
You don’t even need a friend to try this. You can even leave your credit cards at home and do the best you can to avoid emergency situations. Though, maybe that’s why they’re called “emergencies.”
8. Invest in a bottle of Bacardi 151
Not recommended for binge drinkers!
Bacardi 151 is a horrifying concoction with 75% alcohol and the potential to knock you out in the front lawn holding onto the grass as if you’re about to fall off the earth.
However, when done right, you can use very little to get drunk and never need other liquors ever again.
This isn’t a drink you take shots of, by the way. Unless you’re ready for one messy night. Just so you know, this is the liquor bartenders top certain shots off with to light on fire! Yeah, you’re drinking a relatively flammable substance.
All for the sake of saving a dollar!
9. Show up to the bar at 7 p.m.
Early nights, like, are really a lot of fun. Picture this: It’s 7 p.m. so there’s plenty of happy hour still going. Boom. You’re already saving money, but it gets better. The people out at this time probably want to save, as well, so maybe they’ll be really cool and fun to hang out with!
Fast forward to 1 a.m. and you’re already exhausted and maybe pretty drunk. Depends how hard you’ll let yourself go right after sunset. You go home, have some food, and get in bed by the time you are normally arriving at a bar.
In the end, you get a full night out and a full night’s rest. You got a coffin? Because I nailed it!
10. Walk anywhere within 30 minutes
Like I said, we could all use a little more exercise these days. I used to work at a restaurant that was a little under a mile and half away. Being off a local subway stop, it was very possible that the train would actually take longer than walking.
So if it saves time, save transportation costs, and gets a little exercise in, why not?
Doing this is especially fun in the fall and the spring. If you’ve got some time to kill before a movie, maybe walk to the movie if it’s an easy walk. Sure, it could take an hour, but taking in the city air is great sometimes!
As long as you don’t have fleet and you’ve got good knees.
11. Use a college ID way past graduation
A college ID without a visible expiration date is a gift sent from the heavens! If you’re not asking for student discounts left and right, even at McDonald’s, then you need to reevaluate your life!
You have a pass to discounts everywhere only for a few years so you better stock up on cheap hamburgers while it lasts.
Plus, you’d be surprised what businesses have student discounts on their stuff. They just don’t want to tell you because CAPITALISM! Excuse me.
But, yeah, I once got 15% off a grilled cheese with fried chicken. Because you doesn’t like cheap cheese-covered fried chicken between toast!
12. Give up… Netflix!
LOL! ROFL! LMAO!
You wouldn’t ever do such a thing.
If you enjoyed this article, check out the 8 Things New Yorkers Pay a Mind-Blowing Amount of Money For!
Feature image article courtesy of Tumblr.