Come On Bruh: 12 Desperate Things You'll Secretly Do to Save Money

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Welcome to the 21st century! Where there are no jobs, international relations suck, and the economy has been in the crapper for quite a while now! All while a new generation comes into adulthood with the crippling anxiety of failure and poverty. 'Murica!

No matter how confident we are that we're going to succeed eventually, we've still got to "pay our dues" in the meantime. Which is a philosophical way of saying, "We don't want to pay you under the guise of a life lesson."

So then you have to start making the hard decisions. Delivery for dinner or new socks?

To help put your mind at ease (with the realization that you're not alone in making these decisions), here are 12 desperate things your fellow Gen Y'ers secretly do to save money in NYC.


1. Gut your digestive system with endless ramen dinners

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[via tumblr]

Unemployed without any savings for the summer of 2014, I invested in weekly boxes of chicken flavored Top Ramen. However, as much as I honesty love the taste (add some garlic salt and it’s divine!), my bowels will never be the same. Why am I surprised, though?

A sh*t ton of salt plus a sh*t ton of preservatives makes for one gut wrenching meal. Going down, it tastes like a messed up idea of home cooking, but, an hour later, you want to die.

Especially when you’re really hungry and you eat three packets at once. But I wouldn’t know anything about that.


2. Endure piercing cold weather for free anything

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Chills are temporary, but a few dollars saved lasts forever. That’s how the phrase goes, right? Well, it does now. When I get my hands on a coupon for one free iced coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts, there’s no stopping me from getting it. Even if it’s furiously snowing outside.

So what if the condensation seeps into my gloves and freezes? Who cares if I start shaking so hard that I risk dropping the iced coffee?

At the end of the day, I’m one caffeine trip closer to becoming fiscally responsible. It makes sense in my head, alright?!


3. Walk 15 or more minutes for free parking

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We all could use a little extra exercise, anyways. Going anywhere popular in a big city is always a nightmare if you have to drive.

There’s only so many times you can circle the parking lot before an outdoor mall starts to seem a little unnecessary. No Teavana sale is worth that much time.

In my home city, I used to park half a mile away from the hipster part of town since nightlife packed in a single intersection always leads to trouble. Keep in mind, it would also be an upwards of 80 degrees outside.

I liked to think of it as my own sauna-power walking exercise.


4. Eat Starbucks food... for dinner... using gift cards

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[via koreangeekk/tumblr]

Have you had their ham and swiss panini? I’d gladly eat those for any meal! My old man is a little obsessed with Starbucks and we used to stop by every morning before school. Unhealthy, but, hey, it made for some great memories.

Though it might have been a problem that Donna the barista memorized our voices.

Anyways, the Starbucks gift card is a magically versatile thing. While you could easily get a few lattes, but you could get yourself an entire meal with it. And I don’t just mean their little cheese and fruit box crap.

With locations around every corner, it’s not like you’d be going out of your way to save.


5. Risk your computer’s health to torrent music

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[via demonoid.ph]

If you still buy music, please raise your hand because I think your kind is either endangered or straight up gone. Look, it’s great that you support artists. Because, you know, people like Drake a really roughing it.

However, it’s just too easy to get it all for free these days to not do it at all!

Besides, there’s way too much to listen to these days and paying for it would practically be like rent. Only a little more fun. If you’re an avid music connoisseur who pays for music, you could be out hundreds of dollars every month. Do you really want to deal with that? I’m just sayin’…


6. Lug your dirty clothes to their friend’s dorm for free laundry

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College students everywhere! Heed my word! Make friends with the classes under you! Why? Because they’ll let you use the things college lets you have for free that the world makes you pay out the ass for.

Like laundry! Two/three dollars per load makes me miss the days of my mother lagging me.In all seriousness, though, times is hard so take advantage of whatever you can whenever you can.

If you have a friend who lives in a dorm with a chill guest policy, then get your ass there to clean your clothes. If you friend think you’re using them, just tell them they’ll understand when they’re older.

[via myroommatesjockstrap/tumblr]
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