10 Ugly Truths You Need to Know About the Dating Scene in NYC

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Just dipping your feet into the NYC dating pool? Cool.

There are some things which you should familiarize yourself with, so you’re not slammed in the face with a big bucket of surprise as your date shows up to your apartment with a bottle of whiskey rather than roses.

Or the moment you realize getting a second date starts to seem impossible.

Or how about when you run into your ex on a Thursday night at Penny Farthing? Yeah. We feel your pain.

So without further adieu, here are 10 ugly facts everyone who’s dating in NYC need to know. And sooner rather than later.

1. Not everyone is looking for love


They might think they are, but a lot of people have up these things called emotional walls. Also, plenty of people are only interested in one-night stands.

Plenty of people are also only interested in making out at the bar-- nothing more. They might get upset if you persistently call and text because you thought your make-out encounter was something special. Which, to you, it might have been. #BeenThere.

2. Dates might just want sex

And your date might be pretty flabbergasted that you’d want to do anything other than get it on, like, drumroll... get to know each other. Hold your gasps, I know. The last two guys I’ve had in my bed were both pretty dumbfounded when I didn’t want to have sex with either of them. One said to me, “Wanna hop on?” (and yes, he was referring to hopping on his "thing") and when I said that no, I didn’t, he responded with, “Well okay. I don’t want to force anything.” I was like obviously you don’t want to force anything, because that would be rape.

3. Meeting someone is difficult


With 8.4 million people living in this city (and counting), meeting someone is harder than I expected when I envisioned my perfect, love-filled life in NYC.

See, I imagined that I would be a famous author with several published books and a perfect, love-filled relationship. I don’t have a published book nor am I in a relationship right now, but so far I have written a book and been dumped in a nearly-perfect relationship.

There’s always the “there are so many people here so I’m bound to meet someone next weekend” attitude, but that attitude gets kinda tiring after dozens of weekends in a row with hoards of new faces.

4. Dating sites are not trashy

[via 100redflags.com]

Were they ever trashy? Apparently, some people associate dating sites with shame. Why though? The reason is beyond me, but just for any naysayers who persist on feeling ashamed of their stints on various dating sites, it is no longer trashy.

Some of the classiest girls I know are now getting married, that’s right married to guys they met on Tinder.

Also, everyone knows Hinge is much classier than Tinder these days, so... why don’t you try that?

5. People are not that into leaving Manhattan


If you matched with someone on Hinge who lives on Long Island, it may get awkward pretty quickly once you reveal that you have no desire nor impetus to ever leave Manhattan.

If you live in Queens or Brooklyn, and your date is willing to travel to these boroughs to see you, he or she is probably a keeper.

I know, it’s depressing that our standards have sunk so low that suddenly being willing to travel for a half hour on the subway has become the epitome of chivalry.