There’s a double-edged sword to being a girl who likes girls. On one hand, I never have to worry about getting pregnant. On the other hand, well, I can’t bang the person I love and then get pregnant.
I imagine the possibility of combining my genes with the genes of the person I love would be pretty great. I bet the revelation of us smashing our bodies together in an ecstatic, sexual union and producing a baby as the product of our mutual orgasm would be pretty dope. But, like I said, lesbians don’t get to have this pleasure.
I know, I know. Every time I gripe about this particular bummer, I’m met with the same chorus of replies: “But science! But adoption! But artificial insemination!” And yes, to all you clever, clever problem solvers out there, I plan on utilizing one of those options when the time comes, probably. But let me have this one note of self-pity.
Not being able to get pregnant by the person I’m in love with pretty much sucks.
But freaking out every time you have sex, constantly checking your underwear for any spot of blood, googling the price of abortions and checking your bank account to see if you could afford an abortion should you need one-- that all sucks too. And I know, because I’ve been there.
In college, when I used to have sex with guys, I waited for my period like a six-year-old boy waits for Christmas.
And when it came, well. Remember the feeling of getting an envelope in the mail from the college you wanted to go to? And you stood there holding the heavy envelope in your hands, all your hopes, desires, and dreams vibrating in one piece of paper?
Yeah. When I used to have sex with guys, getting my period felt like that. And I always made the guys I was having sex with wear condoms.
Now that I have sex with girls, getting my period is just kind of gross and renders me celibate and with a painful uterus.
This article went viral last week, you may have read it. The author is concerned with the skyrocketing number of her friends who use “pulling out,” or the “coitus interruptus” (P.S., I love that phrase), method as the primary means of birth control. She cites the obvious: if you don’t use condoms, you can get AIDS and herpes and chlamydia. And, of course, you can fall victim to unwanted pregnancy.
I’ll state another obvious: there aren’t lesbian condoms. And even if you’re a woman who’s rubbing certain parts against another woman’s parts, you’re still very much at risk for all the STDs I just listed. Pregnancy, no, but herpes? Yes. Very much. Still, we're pretty lucky. We don't have to panic for days after sex, wondering if another life is growing inside us.