Have you heard of Lindsay?
She’s the girl who’s posting the absurd pictures she finds on Tinder on her amazing Tumblr. And the guys she’s found are... well, ridiculous.
Maybe some of them are on there to mess with her and all the innocent girls who are on Tumblr for love and for orgasms. But Lindsay definitely has the last laugh here. And her Tumblr is making as splash. Her tagline is, “My life is f*cking hilarious,” and we'd have to agree.
Check out the absurdity of some of these Tinder’s suggestions, and then visit Tinder in Brooklyn for the real deal.
The guy who is gentrification personified
Oh man. What was this guy's aim? To make girls think he's into flowers? To make girls think he's goofy?
The worst part about this guy is that beneath his flower-beard, he actually looks pretty cute. I mean, I wouldn't say no. I like guys that are into flowers.
How is that weird? Wonder if Lindsay clicked yes. If not... Martim... give me a call. I'm single as sh*t.
The guy who won Movember
He actually looks pretty normal in that last picture down there on the right. If he just put that pic up... and grew some hair on the right side of his head... and didn't have such a drastic side part... well, nevermind.
I wouldn't click yes to this guy under any circumstances, but that handlebar mustache makes me want to delete my Tinder, smash my phone, and never leave my apartment again.
The guy who got left alone at a tampon factory
This guy looks like he smashed all the windows at the Platex headquarters, bunched up all their tampons, and wore them as a hat. But wait. That still isn't enough tampons. Then, he detonated the lock on the door at the Tampax headquarters and stole all their tampons.
My only question is, why didn't Platex and Tampax hire any bodyguards? Maybe this is a conspiracy. Maybe this is a secret advertising campaign for Platex and Tampax.
Or maybe this guy is an insane maniac who no one should ever date and Tinder should ban him forever.
Guy in a sex-teepee
What I love so much about this post is Lindsay's brutal honesty.
I, also, would probably hit on a guy in a sex teepee. I mean, look at that teepee construction. He obviously majored in engineering and got all A's, and after procuring all of those A's, he came home and built that architecturally-complex teepee. Also, look at those biceps. Look at that neck bling. Also, he's definitely high and I want to be friends with his cat.
The Valentine's Day bandit
This picture leaves me pretty speechless. Like, really.
Okay, now that I've taken a few seconds to regain the power of speech, I have a bunch of questions. Like, was this guy planning on burglarizing a house and then was like, f*ck it, it's Valentine's day, I'll wear a pink burglar costume? Did he rob the flower halo and the vacuum from his poor victims? Did he leave the heart banner as apology for his theft?
But seriously, where did he get that costume and can I buy one?
The guy who doesn't understand the internet
I had an upsetting visceral reaction to this picture-- Chris, having blood spattered across your face does not make you a wizard. It either makes you someone who lost in a fight to a wizard, or it makes you an effing weirdo who needs to get off my computer screen.
Maybe Chris should go find a blood fetish site rather than using Tinder. Just sayin'.
I do like Lindsay's interpretation of the situation. Maybe Chris did snort bad cocaine, and that's what gave him the confidence to put this terrible picture into the airwaves.
Hey Guillaume, if you're already banging your goat, why are you wasting everyone's time on Tinder?
Also bestiality is pretty illegal, I think, so you probably shouldn't be advertising it.
Quick! Someone pour a bucket of water on Horatio's leaves! I was really hoping to eat his face.
Wonder how the inside of him will taste, all heated up.
And yeah, Lindsay, that's what I look like when I have a hangover too.
... Someone call the police?
This is more, more, more than upsetting. I'm upset. I hate Tinder Rape guy. Why did he think this was okay? Does he know anything? I don't think this guy knows anything.
The guy who's totally honest about his interests
While standing in as an allegorical representation of all men in Brooklyn ever (well-played, Lindsay), this guy has used his t-shirt to declare all of his interests in a straightforward manner.
Don't be so morbid, Andrew! If I had a t-shirt like that, it would say, "My life - My bike - My weed - My orgasms."
If you enjoyed this article, check out What Tinder Has Taught Me About Dating in NYC!