One of the best parts of big city life is meeting as many different kinds of people as possible. And, because bigger cities usually host gay communities more than the suburbs, it's very likely you'll have a gay roommate as you work your way towards living alone.
Sure, you could be a big ally and say that we're all the same, but there's a thing or two you could learn from us.
Listen up.
1. You’ll become very comfortable with near nudity
For the most part, we’re a bit more comfortable with our bodies than straight guys.
We’ve grown to reject conservative ideas of masculinity. Plus, it’s nice to flaunt some cute underwear.
So get ready to walk in on us watching TV or doing work on the couch in our briefs. Though, we won’t smell as bad as straight guys when we do this.
2. Your straight dating problems won’t be tolerated
If we even hear a peep of a complaint about dating troubles, we’ll shut you down. Straight people have access to at least 90% of the population. A population that knows how to date one another.
We don’t know what we’re doing. We’re in the process of defining relationships for ourselves, now that we’re being normalized more so than ever. But, still, we’re confused and there aren’t as many of us. Have many seats, please.
3. You’ll learn a new definition of “shower head”
Ahem. Well… I’m not sure this is something appropriate for describing bluntly, but we also wouldn’t encourage you to Google it either.
Let’s put it this way: when two men love each other (or meet on Grindr), things… happen. And for things to happen efficiently, certain parts of us need to be, for lack of a better description, “cleaned out.”
It can be gross, but, hey, we’ve got plenty to say about straight sex.
4. Your impending aging will feel even closer
Not to sound cocky or anything, but we’ve got a thing or two figured out over you, straight guys. Like our looks.
One just doesn’t naturally age gracefully. It takes work. Work that needs to start way before the crow’s feet set in or the skin starts to sag.
Listen, there’s nothing wrong with a little moisturizer or skin regimen. Especially if it keeps people interested, well past your 20s and 30s. Step it up, straight guys.
5. If you’re a girl, you’ll be continuously accused of dating him
Ah, yes. The never-ending awkwardness of having a gay roommate. For some reason, guys and girls can’t spend a lot of time together or even live with one another platonically. Any and all companionship between the genders must be romantic or nonexistent, according to society.
Well, perhaps we just get along despite being different genders. How ‘bout that, huh?
6. If you’re a guy, others will worry he’ll influence your sexuality
*sigh* Yeah, people still think like this.
Frankly, there’s no point in saying this to any guy because it’s just as insulting to the straight one as it is to the gay one.
It says the straight one is too weak and vulnerable to be secure in his sexuality. And if there’s one thing straight guys hate, it’s having their sexuality doubted. Luckily, this belief is dying out and those who still hold onto it are being excommunicated.
,7. You’ll see we’re all just as dirty as you are
Truth be told, there’s a lot of truth to the stereotype that gay men are very clean and put together. However, we’re still busy and tired humans, and sometimes we have just as little drive to pick up our sh*t as you.
So don’t live with us expecting to have a free maid service, because, next thing you know, you’ll be finding our Andrew Christian briefs everywhere.
8. We’re just as tough and vulnerable as you
There’s also a conflicting stereotype that gay men are both overly sensitive and heartless bitches. Both can be very true.
Many of us have been through a lot because of who we are, so there’s a very soft spot within us that can turn us into scared children.
However, we also know how to pick ourselves up and ignore everyone else. If you’re in our way, then you better watch out.
9. Any and all stereotypes will disassemble
Society and even our own community, for some reason, tells everyone there are certain ways gay men are “supposed” to behave. And, yes, we sometimes adopt those ways because it gives us a sense of community.
But spending that much time with us will show you that enacting stereotypical behaviors isn’t a problem. It’s the fact that they exist in the first place to dehumanize us that’s the problem.
10. All your problematic ideals will come to the surface
The fact is that we live in a society geared towards straight people. There’s no way to argue that.
All other sexualities are treated as variations from a norm, which has led to very backwards, double standard. And we’re not afraid to call you out because we deserve the respect you’ve been getting for a long time now.
For example, if you can watch movie upon movie littered with heterosexual sex scenes, then you can handle one homosexual romance movie.
11. Get on our good side and you’ll have a wingman for life
We don’t waste time. We have visions for our lives now that we’re able to live them proudly.
If you earn our trust and respect in this world filled with bigots, then you have it for life because we’re grateful for all the support we can get.
All we want is to be treated as normal. We want the respect of going to a gay bar with our straight friends as much as we go to straight bars with you. If you can understand that, then you’re golden.
If you enjoyed this article, check out Here’s Why I Need My Gay BFFs to Survive in NYC!