13 Awkward Stages Of Getting High In Public

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Nothing brings together people quite like smoking weed in public. But, sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Smoke detectors might be too sensitive, roommates might be judgmental, or it’s just a really nice night.

Either way, it’s bound to happen and it doesn’t have to be as scary as it sounds.

Here are the 13 awkward stages of lightin' up in public.

1. Finding the right spot


First and foremost, you have to find a comfortable place to smoke. This can make or break the experience.

If it’s too public, you could get caught or trip out over possibly getting caught. Too secluded and you’ll look like crackheads, and the isolation could freak you out. No one wants to smoke in an alley.

2. Making sure the coast is clear


This part takes balance, as well.

Unless you’re lucky to live in a cool state that understands weed isn’t a bad thing, you have to make sure at all times that you won’t get caught. However, you can’t draw attention to yourself.

This sh*t is a real team-working skill. We all need more special skills for our resume, right?

3. Rolling the joint/packing the bowl

-->Sounds simple, right? Not quite. Hopefully, you’ve prepared beforehand, but, if not, you’ll have to find a flat surface, grind it up, and continue looking around. You might start to think, “This is a lot harder than it needs to be.” And you’re right. It is. Maybe something should change, AMERICA. Step it up!

4. Initial paranoia

-->You’re about to reach the point of no return. Actually smoking, that is.

Get your mind out of the gutter. Anyway, you know that once you light it up and it starts to stink, there’s no turning back.

It’s do or die. Well, maybe not that serious. Don’t trip yourself out. The last thing a stoned mind needs to think about is death.

5. Smoking


Hopefully, it’s not windy outside so you can pass it around quickly without huddling around each other like penguins to keep the lighter aflame.

Then begins the symphony of coughing. If a group of people standing around didn’t look weird, a sudden chorus of wheezing and spitting would most likely fix that.

6. Waiting for the “spaceship”


There’s always that few minutes where everyone’s had their share and you know you’re going to be high soon, but you aren’t yet.

And it’s only a matter of seconds before your mind leaves our dimension. This is also the time to say your goodnights, since you might not say anything else the rest of the night.

7. Denial

-->You feel a little tingly and it doesn’t start to feel so chilly outside anymore, but it’s just the same as its been in the past. You want to ask to smoke again, but it’s all used up. “Well,” you think, “that’s fine. It happens. At least the Statue of Liberty over there is pretty. I wonder what her real name is, or where she’s from. What’s her backstory? Is she… wait…”