9 Soul-Crushing Stages of Texting in the Cold

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Winter can be one miserable season, especially in NYC where it can be forty degrees one day and below zero the next.

Whether you swear by your iPhone or Droid, you know that texting is a total bitch in the winter months.

Maybe you own a pair of texting gloves, but you may find that even they don’t make your situation better.

You might as well just hibernate and save communicating with others for the warmer days. Here are the nine soul-crushing stages you endure while texting in the cold.

1. Taking eons to unlock your phone because you kept your gloves on

You just want to see what your text says, and you’re planning on answering it later.

If you don’t believe in texting gloves because you think they’re not different from regular gloves, you’ll try to unlock your phone briefly to check your text, but you’ll fail miserably.

It might be time to turn your phone off until the spring.

2. Having to take your gloves off to send a text

It’s f*cking cold out, but your friend just texted you about getting drinks after work and obviously you need to let her know you’re down before she assumes you’re not and she invites someone else.

The only think standing in between you and sending your message are those leather gloves that cause too much friction on the screen.

3. Losing a glove because you took your gloves off to text

You quickly took your glove off to send that message to ya best gurl as you were walking back to work from lunch, and now it seems like that glove has gotten away from you.

You checked your pockets and your purse, but it’s just not there. By now, it’s probably been run over by several taxis, some delivery guys on bikes, and a horse-drawn carriage on 6th Avenue.

4. Having texting gloves that suck


After you lost that nice leather glove, you decided to get a pair of cheap, but innovative texting gloves. Except they don’t seem to do the trick, and you still can’t coherently type a message with them on your hands.

Whatever, practice makes perfect.

5. Getting a hole in your texting gloves because you text too much

You finally got the hang of your texting gloves and can send any message, any time in them.

You’re officially a pro at texting in the cold... wait, is that a hole in your texting glove? You seem to have worn out the finger you use to text the most. Damn it! That’s another pair of gloves in like three days.

6. Misspelling everything because your fingers are so cold

You’ve officially given up on gloves and go back to texting with your own fingers (#firstworldproblems).

However, since it’s below freezing, it basically takes a millisecond for your fingers to go numb and for you to start texting like a drunk fool all the time. You accidentally “dick” to your mom when you meant “sick.”

Thanks a lot, winter.

7. Texting with only one finger so you can keep your other hand warm

You keep one hand either in your pocket or with your jacket sleeve pulled all the way down over your hand, so you’re only texting with one finger.

Hopefully you’ll get that text sent before summer hits.

8. Slipping on black ice you didn’t see while walking and texting

You were so intently into your messages that you didn’t realize you were walking over a nasty patch of black ice, resulting in a rather gnarly fall that will land you either straight on your face or butt.

That’s going to leave a bruise for sure. Hopefully your phone screen didn’t crack in the process, because that’s just another whole set of struggles for another article.

9. Getting your phone wet when texting while it’s snowing

Since it’s the 21st century and you always need to be connected, there is just no way you could wait to text your latest Tinder match telling him or her you’re running late to your date.

Unfortunately, that meant exposing your precious celly to the latest horrific winter weather combination of snow, rain, hail, or whatever it is that comes out of the sky during this winter thing.

Hopefully your phone doesn’t short circuit before you hit send because that would be awk sauce.

If you enjoyed this article, check out 5 Exotic Travel Getaways from This Bitterly Cold Winter in NYC!

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