It's 2015, 35 states have legalized gay marriage, and over half of America's population support gay marriage. There's much more work to be done, but it's never been such a great time for the LGBT community in the United States.
Being a gay man in New York City, it's easy to feel completely accepted as an equal. And then, someone says something really stupid, perhaps almost homophobic.
We know straight people don't mean to be ignorant, but it's just...*sigh.*
So check out these, 9 of the most annoying statements we oftentimes hear, and don't repeat them.
1. “Oh, my friend is gay. Do you know him?”
Oh, I'm so sorry, I haven't met him. I think I must have missed him at the meeting. Yeah, us gay guys in New York meet up every Friday at Elmo to discuss who's new and who's gone. You know. Just to keep an eye on things. But I'll make sure to catch up with him next week. Amongst the 50 other guys named Michael.
2.“New York is totally safe for gay people”
Okay, look. Yes, the gay community does have it pretty good here. We've got a huge pride celebration, New York was one of the first to legalize gay marriage, and people are just more open-minded here. But things are nowhere near perfect. We still get looks and nasty remarks, especially outside of Manhattan. And, for some reason, the West Village has an oddly high rate of LGBT hate crime. Go figure.
3. “New York is so gay. How are you single?”
Alright. Let's break it down. Only about 8% of the entire world population identifies as not heterosexual (though, perhaps, 30% don't know it yet). Then, an even smaller percentage coincides with our own sexuality. And THEN, you still have to find someone you're attracted to both physically and emotionally. And then, you STILL have to find someone who feels the same way back. You do the math because I've got a date to get to.
4. “You're such a Grindr slut”
Oh, you better watch yourself. We get told our whole lives that our private time behind closed doors is unholy and unnatural. So when we finally get some freedom in a very liberal city, you bet your ass we're going to do what we want and finally learn to be comfortable with ourselves. In the words of the great Alyssa Edwards, “You've got the wrong queen, Mama, cause I'm not the one.”
5. “I don't want to go to a gay bar. It makes me feel so lonely and isolated”
Gee, it's almost as if it sucks being the only person of your sexuality in a certain establishment. How hard for you, straight person. Trust me, if we can go each and every day in a heterosexual world, shopping at heterosexual stores, eating at heterosexual restaurants, and going to your heterosexual bars, you can handle one night at a gay bar. And, yes, all spaces are heterosexual unless specified, unfortunately.
6. “Ugh, that's not fabulous!”
Well, news flash: We're not here to make you feel fabulous. We're here to be your friend. Sometimes, we want to stay in wearing our pajamas and watch terrible, horror movies. Sometimes, we want to have a heart-to-heart and let out some emotions. And sometimes, here's a thought, we want to be regular, imperfect humans. So if you can't take us at our worst, you're not getting us at our best. #LGBTea
7. “You're not one of those annoying gays”
Again, you better watch your mouth. Those “annoying gays” are still our brothers and sisters. We may complain about them ourselves, but we will always support them because we know where they come from. It is not our job to avoid being stereotypes.
However, it is straight people's job to not stereotype. We can be who we want to be; we're not hurting you. You telling us how to avoid being “annoying” sure is a bother, though. Be gone.
8. “Ew, I don't want to hear about THAT!”
Let me get this straight. You just told us about your sexual endeavors and personal hygiene issues (sometimes even your menstrual situations, if you're a straight girl), but it's going way too far if we bring up our own private issues? This logic is completely lost on us. So, please, fill us in. Because as much as you want to support us and make us feel normal, you're still going to make us feel gross. Uh-uh.
9. “Maybe you'd find someone decent if you didn't go out/have so much sex”
Okay. No no. No way. Nope. Nu-uh. Stop right there. Not going to happen. You're not going to tell us how to run our own sex/romantic lives. Being gay, we do some things different than straight people. We get to define our lives differently than you. There's absolutely no definite rule that says going out and hooking up directly leads to failed relationships. If anything, straight people came up with that one.