11 Tragic Signs Your NYC Apartment Truly Hates You

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New York City real estate is… unpredictable. To say the very least.

Sometimes, you’ll find the perfect place that rarely has a problem. But most of the time, NYC apartments are as temperamental as New Yorkers themselves.

While everyone has their fair share of issues, some problems might call for a move as soon as possible. It’s not your fault, though. Your NYC apartment’s just rejecting you, and here are 11 tragic signs that it really, truly hates you.

 1. It’s a walkup above the 4th floor

[via shaggyshoo/Flickr]

First things first, it’s the worst…est?

No, really. Climbing four or more sets of stairs should be the first red flag.

Think of it like this: if you hate climbing all the way up there, imagine how much the landlord or any repairmen will hate it, too. You may be closer to God, but God won’t fix that leak above your bed.

 2. Utilities aren’t included in the too-damn-expensive rent

There’s no worse way to trap yourself into a costly living situation than forgetting to calculate utilities while apartment hunting.

It’s easy to see a great apartment in your favorite part of town that’s just the slightest bit over-budget.

So you’ll tell yourself, “Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just cut out the gym and it’ll be fine. It’s too perfect to pass up.” Little do you know, there’s some fine print.

3. “No pets allowed”

What an awful thing to say!

No beautiful furry creatures to cuddle up with you after a day of immense stress and disappointment? Why don’t you just say, “No joy or happiness allowed in this apartment!”

And, no, those pests you can’t seem to get rid of aren’t an adequate substitution.

4. The ceiling isn’t even sturdy


-->Why is this ever even an issue? Ceilings are the most basic means of protection and nothing makes you doubt everything you hold dear like a collapsed ceiling. One moment, you’re enjoying a nice, secure night in with a movie. The next, there’s a black hole to who-knows-where above you.

5. Pipes that burst every winter

Let’s get this straight: we live in New York City. It gets very cold every year like clockwork. Many people live in your building and depend on the pipes working, like they should. And, yet, no one stops to think, “Hmm, maybe we should find a way to avoid flooding an apartment each time it dips below freezing for a week.” But that’s just our two cents.

6. The creatures that won’t be named

Four sets of tiny claws. Beady little eyes. An icky, wormy tail. This could only mean one thing. You’re about to lie awake a night wondering if that rustling in the kitchen is either the wind or…