This Valentine's Day, You Can Name a Cockroach After Your Ex

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If you're in a relationship, Valentine's Day is a great day to be thankful for having an awesome significant in your life.

But if you're not in a relationship, this lovely holiday serves as the perfect reminder of how much hatred you still hold deep in your heart for your a-hole ex.

But you shouldn't dwell on the fact that you're a lonely loser. Instead, you should do something more constructive to get all those bitter feelings out of your system-- and no, I'm not talking about starting a bonfire with all of your bae's left-behind belongings.

This year, you can show the one that got away how you really feel about him or her, by symbolically adopting a little guy that captures their spirit animal spot-on: a disgusting cockroach.


 Yes, this Valentines Day, the Bronx Zoo will let you name a delightful, 4-inch, hissing Madagascar cockroach in honor of your ex.

Because, seriously, nothing let's bae know how much you never want to get back together like comparing him (or her) to the most hated, vile creature in the concrete jungle.

[via giphy]

 Along with your $10 donation, the Zoo will send your ex-bae a "colorful certificate" that lets them know a monstrous, disgusting bug (that can't even be irradiated with a nuclear explosion) has been adopted in none other than their name.

This gross little guys even have their own "sealed-with-a-hiss" slogan. How precious.


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 If one thing is for sure, sending your ex a lover letter declaring that they now share the same name with a roach is sure sooth that heartache and lift your spirits.

Not to mention, every time you smash one of these creepy crawlies in the laundry room, you can think of it as metaphorically-stomping all over your ex's face.

Come on, Cupid himself couldn't give you a greater Valentine's Day gift if he tried.

If you enjoyed this article, check out 32 NYC Things That Are Better than a Boyfriend on Valentine’s Day!