A Full Run of the Sh*tshow: 16 Things You Probably Forgot Happened in NYC in 2016

2016 has been a bad year, no doubt about it. 

We lost innocent people, David Bowie, Prince, and even Harambe. We also had to survive a particularly volatile election. 

This past year, the news cycle was almost completely dominated by emails, inappropriate Trump quotes, Bernie memes, and rips on Ted Cruz as the Zodiac Killer. 

The news is usually full of garbage, but even more so when it gets political. 

This doesn't sit well with most New Yorkers. New York City is the center of the world, so of course, it deserves to be the center of the news. 

So here are some of the biggest stories of NYC in 2016 that you probably forgot about in the grand scheme of things. 


January

1. The Blizzard


~ 2 feet of snow led to a weekend of no movement whatsoever. Thanks a lot, Jonas. 

[anad]

I mean, no different from your regular Netflix binge really, but still! Snow!


February

2. Leo won an Oscar

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Not NYC-related, but how can we not celebrate this feat that literally took forrrrreeeevvvvvveeeeerrrr.


March

3. S**t shut down a power plant

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Bird poop isn’t just for creating gross Jackson Pollock-esque works, it also has the ability to shut off a nuclear reactor for 3 days.


April

4. Hillary Clinton became a subway meme

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I know, I know, too much politics. But this gem of the election cycle needs to be brought back.


May

5. Trump died in Central Park


Well, at least someone wanted him to. The President-elect is very much alive in his toupeed glory, but back in May, a very real headstone bearing his name showed up in Sheep's Meadow. Spoopy.


June

6. The Kanye riot

As of late, Yeezy's mental health has been scrutinized with careless ignorance. Sure, it doesn't help things that he took a strange meeting with Drumpf, but that's irrelevant.  

You might remember that back in June, the craze came from a riot caused by rumoring of a secret show after his Gov Ball set got rained out. The block of Webster Hall became awash with screaming Kanye fans, and stayed packed long after the notion had been tossed.


7. The Cannabis Convention

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We all remember Gary Johnson on marijuana use, but have we forgotten about the massive marijuana convention that was held in our own city? The June event at the Jacob Javitz Center put all college kids' rolling skills to shame with a mix of hippies, yuppies, and THC-infused gummies.


July

8. Pokemon Go, and the legendary Vaporeon stampede


Whether you were 5, 15 or 50, you probably spent an excessive amount of time this summer chasing Charmanders. But you probably forgot that there was a legitimate public safety issue as hundreds of people stampeded after a virtual rare Pokemon in Central Park. 


August

9. NYC's largest pussy

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CAT! Largest pussy CAT! At 28 pounds, Samson, a 4 year old Brooklyn native, was named the city's biggest feline. 

This designation was way more noteworthy than the election, to be honest.


September

10. Carnegie Deli announces the apocalypse

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Okay, that might be a bit of an overstatement. But just shy of it's 80th anniversary, Carnegie will close its doors, and no more of their of their 'Woody Allen' sandwiches will be served. 

I mean a baconeggandcheese from a corner bodega is just as good, but still.


11. The selfie-stick vigilante


Ah selfie-sticks, the bane of modern existence. 

Luckily, this dude Buddy Bolton spent the month running around NYC, cutting tourists' stupid sticks.


October

12. The $185,000 parking spot

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We all know that parking in this city is a bitch. 

Well, now there's all the parking you need, at a bargain price of almost $200K! Score!


13. Happy birthday to the subway

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On October 27th, the system we love to hate turned 112

The birthday celebration was likely drowned out by all of us bitching about delays.


14. The naked Hillary statue

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Everyone remembers the naked Trump statue that graced Union Square and disgraced the man himself. 

But for a brief moment, there was also a naked Clinton, albeit with cloven hooves. Equality.


November

15. The 2017 NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar

ifitshipitshere


This is not a drill. Taxis are in a losing battle against Uber, so they've turned to a long standing advertising concept: sex sells

[anad2]

For $14.99, you can see your cab driver in all his shirtless glory. Not sure why you'd want to, but you do you.


December

16. War on Winter Wonderland


This happened just days ago, but I'm sure you've forgotten it because of its utter stupidness. 

An Upper East Sider is suing their neighbor over Christmas music. This fight comes just days after International Human Rights Day, a day that is meant for peace.

[Feature Image Courtesy NYDailyNews] 

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