#UnbreakableNYC: 13 All-Too-Real Jokes Only Real New Yorkers Understand

Have you watched Season 2 of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt yet? If not, WTF is wrong with you? Go do that immediately. Seriously, we will wait. 

If you have, then you probably spent all 13 glorious episodes laughing your ass off at the hilarity that we had no doubt would be in store. 

Aside from Tina Fey making an unforgettablly hysterical appearance as Kimmy's alcoholic therapist, there were a slew of incredible guest stars: Zosia Mamet, David Cross, and Lisa Kudrow to name a few.

The jokes were so on point, so rapid-fire funny, that we could barely keep up. 

There were also a good chunk of them that were highly specific to New York City. After all, the show takes place in NYC and centers around New Yorkers from all walks of life (wealthy divorcee, newcomer trying to make her way, starving artist, loyal local). 

It paints such a hilariously accurate portrait of city life, and as New Yorkers, there was no way we could miss them. 

Read on to relive some of the best NYC jokes Kimmy Schmidt made this season.

1. Amtrak is for lovers


If only it were true.

2. "Look at this view. If I can see New Jersey, that means it can see me!" 

It can. And it knows you're better than it.

3. "I live in New York City because of The Lion King."


Don't we all?

4. "You think you know everything because you got bit by a cockroach that crawled out of a dictionary."



5. "I waited like a fool for something that never could be...and his name was...the Second Avenue Subway."

We feel you, Lillian. We feel you.

6. "They're hipsters which means gentrification! Ugh, listen to me. I miss the old days when the longest word I knew was 'friggengiuliani'."

Oh, Lillian. We love you so much.

7. The "sneaker artist"

The hipster couple (Sue and Bob Thompstein) that takes over Titus and Kimmy's apartment could not be more accurately depicted. 

Well Sue tells Lillian that her husband is a "sneaker artist" who will be attending "Sole Food: An Artisinal Fair Trade Experience", we just about lost it.

8. "Malcolm the Tenth was a black pope."


Oh, Kimmy. Yes, Malcolm X was a black pope. 

9. Titus as a hipster restaurant host 

Complete with beard and Etch-a-Sketch instead of the usual iPad, it was perfection. 

10. "'You up? Cartoon eggplant cartoon eggplant'. Where is that, Soho?"


Kimmy reading out a text that Jacqueline accidentally sent her was one of the best moments of the season. 

We all know what those eggplants mean. We've all gotten that text. #relatable

11. Kimmy beating up Billy on the Street


Maybe you haven't had quite the reaction that Kimmy did, but if you live in New York, you've definitely seen Billy Eichner before.

12. "I saw your homework is covered in a day's worth of asbestos. Also, don't breathe so much from now on, or before." 


Oh you know, just New Yorkers living in unlivable conditions. Nothing new to see here. 


13. "This is our take on a pop tart, but since both those words are gendered we're calling it [gibberish]."


Yes, this hipster cafe employee sounds absolutely insane, but we'd put money on the fact that this sentence has been said before, in earnest. 

Check out Everything We Learned from Last Night's Game of Thrones. 

[Feature Image Courtesy Netflix] 

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