Ah. February. Not the coldest month of the year, but at least for 2017, our first foray into freeze-your-face-off temps.
You know what we really don't feel like doing? Just about everything, except sitting at home and watching a sh*t ton of TV.
We've put together everything we're bingeing this month, from our couches of course, because nope, we're not going outside– YOU CAN'T MAKE US.
TBH, is there any good reason we can't just hibernate with our remote control until April (are we being optimistic? May?)? Like what, Rings? Fifty Shades Darker?
The FOMO is nowhere to be found.
1. Clouds of Sils Maria
In case you were wondering why Kristen Stewart is relevant enough to host Saturday Night Live rn (although we love her, and she KILLED it), this Sundance film, now streaming on Netflix, is why.
2. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Season 2
Obviously, if you haven't caught the first season of this delightful, dark, twisty, musical show– you should probably do that first. Otherwise, thank the Netflix and CW powers that be for their agreement that allows full seasons to begin streaming just a little over a week after the finale airs. Praise.
Will Adele– um, La La Land sweep the night? Does Moonlight have the chance it deserves? Will Hollywood burn an effigy of Trump?
Don't miss the first year all the feature documentaries nominated sound actually interesting; the Academy Awards air on February 26th. Jimmy Kimmel will be hosting.
4. Girls - The Final Season
Love it or hate it, Girls has become somewhat of a bible for this decade. It doesn't matter if you believe, like, or care about anything that's going on in it, but if you don't pay attention, you're gonna miss out on a loooot of references– do it for the thinkpieces, folks.
The final season started airing Sunday, February 12th on HBO and after these last 10 episodes, we're finally going to be free. Who knows what NYMag will write about now?
5. Finding Dory
We also rejoiced when Netflix snagged the rights to stream the newest Disney flicks not long after they release, including The Jungle Book, Zootopia, and even Captain America: Civil War, because let's be real– we did not see this in theaters.
Oh, the rest of America did? Our bad. We're catching up now.
6. Paris is Burning
Another very queue-worthy addition to Netflix this month is this 1991 documentary that chronicles the lives of drag queens and ball culture in NYC.
It is an invaluable exploration of race, class, gender, and sexuality in our city. Just last year, the film was selected by the Library of Congress to be preserved, citing the documentary as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant".
7. O.J.: Made in America
We present to you the perfect spend-the-whole-day-inside-and-marathon-it series. This three-part documentary, streaming on Hulu, has a running time just shy of 8 hours, but is definitely the most comprehensive look possible at the highly televised, sensational trial of O.J. Simpson.
If you need more snowy weather crime story fodder, then definitely also catch up on American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson (streaming on Netflix), which we told you to watch last month (y u no listen to us??)– it's anther highly binge-able, albeit fictional, look at the same trial.
8. Crimson Peak
Sigh. This gothic haunted house ghost story (aight, when you put it like that, we see why our hopes were perhaps a little too high) was supposed to be so much more than it was. Bronte (Emily) meets Poe meets ...uh, the other, less depresso Bronte (Charlotte).
Okay, to its credit, and the reason it's on this list, the film is veeeery aesthetically pleasing. No really, that probably doesn't sounds to enticing, but if Baz Luhrmann and Alfred Hitchcock had a baby, it would be this Guillermo Del Toro visual masterpiece.
See it for yourself on HBOGo.
9. I Am Not Your Negro
Aight, so we know we said we weren't going to make you leave your couch– but this documentary is worth it. We also know nothing's more annoying than saying a film is important or worst yet, timely, but Raoul Peck's interpretation of James Baldwin's final un-finished work is a 2017 must see. TBH, it's kinda scary, also kinda annoying how relevant Baldwin's work remains.
It debuted at the Toronto International Film Festival to critical acclaim, and scored an Academy Award nomination for Best Documentary Feature. Also, Samuel L. Jackson provides narration; just when we were needing some proof that he wasn't Jack Nicholson-ing, and we have been soundly told off for thinking such.
You can watch I am Not Your Negro in these NYC theaters.
10. The Lego Batman Movie
Okay, we're telling you to pause Netflix again, WE KNOW. But we made the exception for what's probably going to be the best movie (definitely the most entertaining) in the DC cinematic universe, so sue us. We know the bars not that high. Just go with it.
It's been out in theaters since February 10th.
11. Get Out
Last one where you actually have to brave the outdoors, WE PROMISE. We know you actually want to see this movie though. We're going to go out on a limb and say it's the Scream for this generation. Yep, that's how confident we are.
Written and directed by Jordan Peele, of Key & Peele (which we sorely miss), every critic who has reviewed Get Out thus far has noted that it's not what you expect going in– especially if what you're expecting is a comedy.
While we think it was a missed Valentine's Day weekend opportunity, you can catch Get Out starting February 24th.
12. John Wick: Chapter Two
Don't worry, we're kidding. Watch this YouTube video of a movie trailer from the alternate, better universe where we'd also like to imagine facts are still facts, and all sorts of other wild things. Sigh.