To quote the Notorious B.I.G., birthdays was the worst days... now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay.
This may be the case (especially if you’re prone to celebrating birthdays with bottomless mimosa brunch, like I am), but tbh birthdays kind of still are the worst days.
Birthdays only come once a year, and you always want it to be spectacular. But no matter what you do, it’s never as fun as you want it to be.
Forget about presents and getting what you want (or not), the entire process of celebrating is a whole lotta hullabaloo. And for what? A great Instagram opportunity?
There are a lot of reasons why birthdays are actually a little sh*tty. And these are some of them.
1. Planning it is stressful
Growing up, my family always had a rule: you don’t do work on your birthday. I realize that was a rule for little kids that meant we didn’t have to wash the dishes or clean our bedrooms like usual, but still.
It’s your birthday, why should you be stuck with the stress of coming up with the ideal way to celebrate?
2. You feel awkward asking people to spend money to celebrate you
Doing a brunch or a dinner? $$$. Inviting friends to a bar? $$. Just a BYOB house party? Still $. You’re with it, but it can still feel weird to say “come pay attention to me, and while you’re at it, buy some food and booze to honor the day of my birth.”
3. The invite list always gets tricky
You don’t want to invite *all* of your coworkers, but if you invite some, will the others find out? Do you have to invite every person who has ever invited you to their birthday party? What about that guy friend who your friend hooked up with and hates now, but everyone else still likes him? Is it rude to invite friends who recently had parties that you didn’t go to?
Where is the etiquette book for this???
4. People you wanted to show up never do
You had high hopes. They even RSVP’d as “Attending” on Facebook! But the party came and the party went, and they never showed up.
5. And people you never thought would come are the first people there
You know those people you only invited to be polite? They always seem to arrive right before the party really gets going, and you find yourself trying to entertain them until someone suggests a round of shots.
6. You’re the automatic center of attention
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying being the center of attention (usually, I do). But there’s something different about it when it’s an automatic, unavoidable thing. You feel like you have to do something worthy of all that attention.
7. You never get as many texts as you think you should
Why didn’t more people message you at midnight? Why haven’t more people posted on your wall? Why haven’t you gotten more funny birthday GIFs? There is never enough!!!
8. Yet you hear from people you don’t want to respond to
Great. Thank you, second cousin, person you went on one and a half dates with, and girl from across the hall freshman year of college.
9. Age is nothing but a number
There’s always that moment of ~existential crisis~ when you realize that your birthday means nothing and even the day that is all about you is not really all about you.
10. Except that you somehow feel old af now
Have your knees always popped? Your hangovers have DEFINITELY gotten worse. Is that maybe a gray hair???
11. You have more fun on random weekends
Often, the best weekends are the ones that aren’t planned down the last detail.
12. You’re depressed after it’s over
Whether it was the best birthday ever or you cried into your ice cream, when it’s over, you’re always upset. Another birthday gone, another year over, and what do you have to show for it? Save that birthday crown. You’ll be more prepared next year.[Feature Image Courtesy Pinterest]