Everyone knows about the “meet cute.” Romantic comedies have given us this concept that all worthy relationships begin with some kind of adorable story.
The problem with meet cutes in rom-coms is that they’re orchestrated by a writer and a director and a cast of actors. Real life doesn’t have that kind of help.
The thing about meet cutes is that if you really met someone that way, it would not be cute.
There’s nothing wrong with meeting someone in a less-than-cute way. The story of your origin as a couple will not dictate how your relationship turns out (unless you meet in prison. That would probably have a big impact).
There are many cliché ways to have a meet cute in New York City. And I think it’s actually a good thing that none of these actually happen the way they do in the movies...
1. At Whole Foods
I can’t be the only person who was led to believe that Whole Foods would be a hotbed for hotties. Don’t ask me who told me this, but something in pop culture planted the idea in everyone’s head.
Yet I’ve never locked eyes with a potential suitor over organic cucumbers or overpriced quinoa. (Okay, a boy asked me out once—but I’m in my 20s and he was still in high school, so it doesn’t count.)
2. In Central Park
You’re sunning with your friends in Sheep Meadow when a rogue frisbee lands on your blanket. You’re annoyed because you spill the wine you’re sneaking in a Solo cup. You hear a “Sorry about that!” and look up to discover the man of your dreams, shirtless and smiling…
LOL JK THIS NEVER HAPPENS.
3. In your apartment building
Initially, this would seem convenient. But what if things go south? Or you just don’t want to see them every. single. time. you’re at home? Realistically, there’s likely no one in your building that would actually be compatible with you, anyway.
And if you really think about What’s Your Number, Colin is pretty invasive of Ally’s space. Who even wants that?
4. On the subway
Seeing couples touch each other on the subway is disgusting. It’s is crowded and sweaty, and that pole you’re leaning on has been touched by thousands of filthy fingers. Not the right environment to experience sexual tension.
5. Anywhere in the rain
Why is rain so sexy in the movies? Rain is wet, and cold, and sticky, and makes jeans the most uncomfortable piece of clothing on the planet.
Not to mention everyone forgets how to walk when they’re holding umbrellas. You’re more likely to get poked in the eye than tugged on the heart.
6. Accidentally getting into the same cab
Some people consider it a rite of passage to steal someone’s cab. But when has that ever turned into a romance IRL? Just because Jennifer Lopez pulls it off in The Backup Plan doesn’t mean it will work. Be kind. Let people rightfully keep their cabs.
7. At work
Office romances are never as sexy as they seem in the movies. Do you really want to feel pressure to look hot every day at work? Are you really willing to risk your job for a secret fling? What if you disagree on something work-related and it leads to your first fight?
Plus, if anyone EVER destroys my desk like Rob Lowe in this GIF, they will have hell to pay.
There are a few episodes of Catfish that actually work out. But as the title of the show suggests...mostly, it doesn’t. Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones. Maybe you won’t.
9. At a sporting event
Sporting events are loud. Everyone’s aggressive side comes out, whether you’re pumped up about winning or upset about losing. And Vince Vaughn hitting on Jennifer Aniston in front of her date in The Break-Up is not cute, he’s an a**hole!
10. Through a case of mistaken identity
I don’t care that there are movies/TV shows that have made this work. This is not cute. Do not start a relationship by letting someone think you are someone you are not and expect it to work itself out in your favor. Just don’t.
11. Literally running into each other on the street
No one really gets coffee spilled on them by a hottie on the street and then falls in love with them. If anyone runs into me on the street, all they’re getting is my death stare.
12. Because of a bet
I love How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days as much as anyone (more, probably) but it is not based on a true story because this would never happen IRL.
Bets, half-truths, and love ferns are not the foundation of a successful relationship, no matter how happy Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson look making out in a very dangerous location at the end of the movie.[Feature Image Courtesy Harpers Bazaar]