If you’re a New York City transplant, you probably expected to do some new things when you moved here: pay ridiculous rent, attend Broadway shows, hang out in Central Park.
Little did you know that none of the NYC sitcoms really get it right. The longer you’re here, the more barriers you break.
But the things that really make you a New Yorker are the things you never thought you'd do.
Instead of letting these lows break you, let them lift you up. You’re really living in the big city now!
There’s no timeline for when any one of these may occur during your New York residency. But at some point, you’ll find yourself experience every one of these lows...
1. Killing cockroaches
Honestly, it’s a rite of passage that all New Yorkers should experience at least once. In a city of 8 million people, we all need a common experience holding us together.
2. Eating on the subway
The subway is dirty, and crowded, and not your kitchen. But at some point, you’re going to be too hungry to care, and once you do it once...the rest is history.
3. Online dating
You didn’t think you’d need to resort to online dating when you live in the biggest city in America. But you did. And it was not good.
4. Paying to go to the bathroom
There aren’t many public restrooms in the city, so you find yourself literally paying to use the restroom at bars and coffee shops. Sure, you’re getting a latte out of it, but since when does urinating cost $3.50?
5. Living with strangers
Isn’t this exactly what your mother warned you about when moving off to the big bad city? Yet here you are, agreeing to sign a lease with someone you met off Craigslist who you’re pretty sure won’t kill you.
6. Ordering delivery twice in one day
Look, we’ve all been there. With the vast array of cuisine available at the tap of our touchscreens, it’s sometimes impossible to venture outside of our apartments. Just don’t order from the same restaurant. No one needs that kind of judgment.
7. Considering living in a bedroom without a window
Never would you ever have even considered the possibility that a bedroom without a window exists, yet is considered reasonable real estate in New York. Word of advice: don’t do it. People are like plants. We need sunlight.
8. Getting somehow affronted by a homeless person
Maybe they whip their junk out. Maybe they spit on you. Maybe they throw a cigarette butt that lands on your arm (happened to me). Maybe they pee on you (happened to my friend). What’s your NYC Homeless Person Story?
9. Taking furniture off the street
No, you don’t know where it came from. But you know where it would look really good? Your living room / kitchen / bedroom / rooftop.
10. Stealing a cab from someone else
You’d never be that cruel! So you thought. But at some point...you’ll be in such a hurry to get to another neighborhood / borough / silent disco that you won’t care.
11. Getting in an argument with someone on the subway
You knew there were crazy people in New York. You never thought you’d be one of them. But one day, on the morning commute, you snap. Don’t worry, someone in the next car over is crazier.
12. Giving zero f**ks about what you do/say/look like in public
On second thought, this is a high every New Yorker experiences. No one here cares what you do. It might sound depressing...but it’s exhilarating. Enjoy your newfound freedom, my friend.
[Feature Image Courtesy New Yorker]