Ahhh, New York, New York. We've made it to the Big City of Dreams. The city seems so full of life and possibilities and – what the hell was that?
As we go through the initiation ritual that is daily life here, lots of magical and not-so-magical things happen for the first time.
Think of each experience like a square in an unofficial game of "New to NYC" bingo.
It might not all be fun and glam, New York, but we still love you. Or at least, we're learning to love you.
Here are some things that have probably definitely happened to you:
1. You mispronounced something and completely blew your cover.
Well, you might have been successfully passing yourself off as a ~native~ (or at least feeling like one) but then you pronounce Houston Street like the city in Texas. The good news is one major embarrassment like that and you'll never do it again.
2. You played yourself by not checking the forecast before you left your apartment.
Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of a ridiculously overpriced umbrella from Duane Reade.
3. You explored an exciting new frontier of public transportation.
Out of all the experiences you can have on the subway, riding it while hungover is one of the worst. And you're pretty sure you're not going to make it out alive.
4. You have a real-life "PIVOT!" moment.
Life imitates art. For a city as big as NYC it can sure seem tiny sometimes. Whether you live in a walk-up or were just trying to fit a piece of furniture into your bedroom, this Friends scene is not nearly as entertaining in real life.
5. You were late to something thanks to an inexplicable train delay.
Bonus points if it was something super important. Let's face it, your faith in the MTA was probably one of the first things you lost after moving here. Under no circumstances should you assume the trains are running as scheduled. Ever.
6. And probably while waiting for your train, saw your first subway rat.
Why couldn't it at least have been like pizza rat?
7. You've eaten a slice of pizza at 3 AM, standing up.
Okay so who hasn't had a drunken late-night slice? But here, you almost always have to wait in a crazy long line just to eat it standing up. And sometimes the closest dumpster is the next best thing to a table – necessity really is the mother of invention.
8. You've discovered how problematic puddles can be.
And wildly underestimated them and their ability to ruin your shoes and/or clothes.
9. Rode the subway in the completely opposite direction of where you meant to go.
Because somehow, CityMapper, directions from friends, and all of the giant signs in the station were not enough of a guide.
10. You've realized you're not aggressive enough.
The first time you try to get off or on a packed subway car is the minute you realize that you have to toughen up to get where you need to go in this city.