Ahhh, New York in the summertime. Central Park is green, the Hamptons are thriving, and you can buy ice cream everywhere.
There’s one thing you can count on every single New York summer, more reliable than MTA delays and lines at Starbucks.
Every summer, NYC dons her signature perfume: hot trash smell.
As the thermometer creeps higher, the stench gets stronger. You can go east, west, north, or south; there is no escape (Definitely not underground. Maybe on a rooftop).
And hot trash comes in multiple varieties. None of them are pleasant. But from most bearable to least... these are the 10 worst NYC hot trash smells, ranked.
1. Average everyday hot trash
The first 80+ degree day, this stench is unbearable. But fortunately, you quickly acclimate to the smell, because it’s not going anywhere for the next three months.
2. Empty beer / wine / liquor bottles
We’re New Yorkers and we recycle, damnit. And in the summer, that recycling smells. You always know when someone in an apartment building had a party from the sickly sweet smell emanating from their big blue bins.
3. Leftovers from a cookout
Rotting meat, how delightful. Even better? Hot mayo from the uneaten potato salad.
4. Leftovers from a cookout that had fish
What’s worse than hot, rotting meat? Hot, rotting fish. Anyone who’s worked in an office where someone microwaved leftover salmon can tell you that (and that’s not even rotten).
5. Hot trash from an apartment that contains an infant
It’s 2017, but we still dispose of our offspring’s crap by tying it up in a piece of plastic-y cotton and throwing it in the trash. Where it gets hot and stinks up the whole sidewalk.
6. Hot trash that has recently been trifled with
Whether it just got put out, the garbage truck just came by, or someone’s digging through for cans and water bottles, any movement just stirs up that stench and sends a brand new wave wafting through the air.
7. Average everyday hot trash...left inside your apartment building
Seriously, people? The outdoors are a few feet away. SAVE US ALL.
8. Humans crowded on the subway
Summer doesn’t just make trash hot. It makes people hot. And when people are hot, they sweat. And when people sweat, they smell. The morning commute just got a whole lot worse.
9. Humans crowded in your office elevator
Crowded office elevators are worse than crowded subway cars. Because you know these people. You have to smile at them and pretend like your eyes aren’t watering from the smell.
10. Human trash
And by this, I mean trash excreted from a human in public. Bad all the time, worst in the summer.