Don’t Be an A**hole: An Open Letter to the Flood of NYC Tourists
Dear New York City tourists,
Hey y’all! Hola! Yo! Good choice on choosing the greatest city in the world for your adventures. The city that never sleeps. The city where dreams are made of, and the city of the best bagels. Trust me, it’s a fact.
It’s also not the absolute friendliest city—but don’t worry, we’re not trying to scare you off.
We welcome you with open arms. Well, we might, if you follow some of these helpful tips.
There’s nothing a native New Yorker hates more than a tourist with their head in the clouds and no hands on their wallets. Be smart, blend in, and seriously, buy a bagel.
But first, just avoid some sh*t. You’ll thank us later. Or not. Whatever.
If you heed this advice and avoid all of the cliche touristy activities that you’ve seen in the movies, maybe we’ll let you extend your stay.
A native New Yorker
1. Don’t. Get. In. The. Pedicabs.
kentchau21 Want a job that pays 0 an hour plus tips? #nycpedicab #nyc
$3 a minute + 5 miles an hour = bad idea.
2. Times Square is a NO GO.
It’s literally a center of filth, epilepsy-inducing flashy billboards, and grimy old men in costume. The only reason to go is to catch a Broadway show, but do not eat there. Do not.
3. Instead of paying for a Statue of Liberty Sightseeing tour, take the Staten Island Ferry.
nikadomee #Gorgeoussky 💙💙💙 #skyporn #lunchbreak #NewYorkCity #NYC #StatenIslandFerry #NowyJork
It’s free, and it sells booze! Win-win. Just, you know, don’t actually get off in Staten Island.
4. Do not wear matching family shirts.
jamminjammies It's December 1st so basically our favorite time of year... Pajama Season! 🤗 #getcozy #matchingfamily #jamminjammiesfan
We will laugh at you.
5. Do not carry a physical paper map.
aroundthewaymom A lil gift i made for my sis ,i'll miss you!! #D❤C #ÑY #LOVE #FuCKTRUMP
aroundthewaymom A lil gift i made for my sis ,i'll miss you!! #D❤C #ÑY #LOVE #FuCKTRUMP #NYCmap
Other than being super cluttered, they are literally a beacon for pickpockets and scammers.
6. Invest in a weekly unlimited metro card instead of taking cabs if you want to have enough money to eat
rosjanin Everywhere with it 😎#metrocard #subway
7. Dollar pizza and hole-in-the wall coffee shops are all you need
dollarpizzaslicenyc Date: 5/17/2016 Time: 1:10 PM Location: 9th Avenue Gourmet Deli, 769 9th Ave #1 (Between West 52nd St. & West 51st St.), Manhattan Cheese: 3 Sauce: 3 Crust: 1 Sometimes I strike out at places when I'm hunting for dollar pizzas. I usually make it a point to try to revisit those locations in case something changes. This is one of those situation. A little info on this place. Pizza is not their main attraction. I feel like they allow themselves to make around 10 pies for the day and call it after they sell out. I also think it's geared for the lunch hours. Last time I was here I showed up around 6 in the evening and there was no pizza. The slice I got was a reheated slice and was in between a medium and large size. It looked crispy and thin and most notably the bullet hole in it. That little guy? I wouldn't worry about that little guy. The first bite was good; crispy, lots of sauce, and good cheese. The crust was very thin as the slice almost collapsed on itself. The next two bites rang as true as the first. The fold was acceptable and grease drip was minimal. After the first folded bite the slice seemed it wasn't as big as I thought it was. The sauce began drying out towards the end finishing with seven bites. The end crust had a medium overspill and little crispness to it. The cheese and sauce held this slice together but crust brings it down severely. With a good selection of places close by skip this one. Recommend: No #dollarpizzaslicenyc #pizzabilitiesareeendless #livefasteatpizza #pizza #instapizza #pizzagram #nycdollarslice #nycpizza #dollarpizza #pizzaslice #pizzaparty #pizzalove #pizzaporn #pizzapics #pizzaislife #dollarslice #dollarslices #dollarslicepizza #nycpizzagram #newyorkpizza #nypizza #newyorkcity #newyorkstyle #nyceats #pizzalover #ilovepizza #lovepizza #loveatfirstslice #dailypizza
Don’t waste your time at the famous spots. Katz’ Deli is good, but lines are not.
8. NYC is more than Manhattan!
spoilednyc HOME. ❤️❤️
Check out all the fun of our other boroughs, like Brooklyn’s Prospect Park, Queens’ cheap Asian food in Flushing, and Yankee stadium in the Bronx.
9. Learn. To. Walk.
Yes, our skyscrapers are pretty. No, that does not mean you need to walk painstakingly slow to look up at them.
10.Don’t buy an I-heart-NY T-shirt.
ittystagram We're on a sit-and-staycation #ralphitty Tag your #staycation buddy✌🏻️🐾
11. If there’s a subway car that’s almost completely empty, it’s too good to be true.
spoilednyc 🎭🙈🗽🚇🎭 (@alex_iosiovich)
That man sleeping in the corner? Yeah, he probably (definitely) smells like piss.
12. Hear some yelling and cursing?
Don’t be alarmed, it’s just how New Yorkers communicate.
13. Wear some comfy shoes.
spoilednyc 😂😂😂😂 #blackfriday
New Yorkers walk everywhere, and while your heels are super cute, they also lead to super blisters.
14. Stay up late.
spoilednyc rooftop igloo bar?! YAAAAAASSS! 🌃❄️🍻🍷🍾🍹🗽 check out our link in bio for more info! 😍😍😍 (@jetset.away)
NYC’s late night drunk bites are the best ever. Artichoke and Papaya dog are great, but you can’t beat our 24-hour diners (unless you’re looking for hash browns).
15. Avoid 5th avenue
spoilednyc HOME. ❤️❤️
Spend the money that you would have blown on designer things instead on some quality knock-offs in China town. No shame.
16. Look up free s**t!
spoilednyc too early for this? 😉😉 (@meetselect)
The internet is for more than Kermit memes and porn. Nycgo.com has tons of free activities, and so does theskint.com. Go be frugal!
17. Here for the holidays?
spoilednyc 😍😍🎄🎄😘😘 #spoilednyc (@gigi.nyc)
Avoid the Rockefeller ice rink. Super expensive + super packed = bad idea.
18. Don’t call it ‘your city.’
spoilednyc 💯❤️🗽🙌💯 (@_explore_nyc)
You have to earn that.
19. Avoid the Empire State Building
spoilednyc So beautiful 😍😍😍 #empirestateofmind (@myidentitydisorder)
The view is gorgeous, but the lines and cost is severely off-putting. The view from the top of The Met is pretty beautiful, as with any tall building.
20. Enjoy yourself!
People would kill to be here. It definitely has its rough patches, but NYC is the greatest city in the world.
Got a hot tip? Drop us a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.
[Feature Image Courtesy DailyMail]