New York City is expensive to the point where a lot of people have moved to the outer boroughs or even New Jersey to commute to work each day.
Yes, rush hour sucks, and taking public transportation each day tends to add up in the ol' bank account, but we're saving money on rent in the long run.
Unfortunately, with the commute comes an abundance of unsavory characters who cannot comprehend, or merely don't care, simple virtues of courtesy in regards to their fellow commuters.
These people are the worst kinds of commuter that you dread sitting next to each and every day.
Most days, you're safely sitting next to some kind fellow who doesn't speak or make eye contact with you. But then again, there are days that you have the extreme misfortune of sitting next to one of these people.
It's bad enough when the commute is prolonged because of track work, train traffic, or some other similarly inane facet of public transportation. And sure, that's all easily forgiven when you use the Poncho weather app to at least prepare you for the most frustrating, unpredictable parts of the day.
But throw the most volatile ingredient there is in the known universe? Human beings? Well, that's just a little too much. Here are the worst kinds of commuters that every New Yorker encounters.
1. The smelly one
subwaycreatures When you let one go on the train and try to play it cool @kayladunham #savage #nochill #nofucksgiven #subwaycreatures #csc
If there is one person who you really dread sitting/standing next to on the train, bus, or subway, it's the guy/gal who smells as if they haven't encountered a bar of soap in years. We're not talking a forget-your-deodorant this morning kind of stench... we're talking some next level ish.
This kind of B.O. is the kind that seems to permeate every single one of your senses, not merely your sense of smell.
[anad]
It's the kind of stench that automatically itches at your gag reflex and makes your eyes tear up in pain.
These kind of commuters are the ones who make the oxygen in the air you need to survive not worth breathing in.
2. The primper
We're sorry, we were unaware that the subway/bus/train was your own personal beauty salon. In case you didn't know, makeup can be messy and rather fragrant. We really don't need to watch you try and curl your eyelashes in the clamp of doom while you pull your face every which way to get that cat eye.
Also, we're all for a quick brushing of the hair, but do you really need to do it on the cramped subway? Do you not understand that hair falls out all the friggin' time and we really don't want that on our clothes? Nasty.
However, if you do attempt to put on your eyeliner and the bus stops short, we will laugh heartily in your face after you poke yourself in the eye with your eyeliner.
3. The talker
tiffanyelise73 I could have sworn there was a scripture that confir.....ok, maybe not.😑🔪 #gm #morning #tooearly #shutup 🤐#yetyouarestilltalking #yadiyadiyada #shhhh #quietplease 🙅🏽#notalkeebeforecoffee ☕️
Let's set the mood. It's 7:00 a.m. You're on the quiet bus or train, and people all around you are sleeping soundly to try and catch a few more z's before their tiring workday. Some jerk on the phone jumps into the compartment and carries on with their loud conversation about bullsh*t.
These guys are the worst. They're the type to feel that everyone else's comfort is insignificant compared to their lives. Unless you're calling to get an update on your grandmother's surgery, the call can wait, or you can always get out and walk/wait until your conversation is over.
4. The snorer
We're not so sure if we love them or hate them. We're totally on board with the fact that people are catching some shut eye before or after their work day. We also find it a bit entertaining when he or she lets out an enormous snort of slumber.
[anad2]
However, it can be insanely difficult if you're trying to sleep and that dude rips out a loud snore right when you've finally reached nap status. Then, it's pretty much all you can pay attention to.
5. The Eater
spoiled_nyc seriously? 😂😂😂 #getcomfortable #nycsubway #onlyinny #subwaydining #lmfao #happymonday #dead #onlyinnyc #onlyinnewyork 😭🚇😜
After work, we're all pretty hungry and ready to get home for a nutritious dinner, and by that we mean bodega food because we really can't afford anything else. Then some inconsiderate d-bag decides to bring on a pungent, nose-tickling burrito with a side of crunchy chips and guac.
The only thing that we can hear over the sound of our demanding, grumbling tummy is the crunch of every bite of chips filling yours. We hate you.
,6. The creep
nyc_wtf Buy something #sexy for your significant other this #holiday season, at Victor's Secret. #lingerie #victoriassecret #subway #mta #commute #nycwtf #nyc #wtf #manhattan #brooklyn #weird #strange #bizarre #onlyinnyc #onlyinny #peopleofnewyork #crazy #thatshitcray #insane #nyclife #subwaycreatures #instafollow #follow4follow #followback #followme #instagood #photooftheday Photo Cred: @i_hate_ny
People tend to commute with the same people every day. It's not unlikely for people to get to know one another just because they take the same train or bus.
But there are some people that you really just want to avoid. We're not talking about the public masturbator, but the subtle creep that eyes you up and down.
[anad]
He's the one who sits right next to you when there are other open seats, or the one who just stares. You think he's not much of a threat, but it's still unnerving to say the least.
7. The man/womanspreader
Anatomy, biology, religion, exhaustion, whatever. Nothing entitles you to half of the leg space on each side of your own. You should not be encroaching on the leg space of the person next to you.
Seriously, we should not be that close to each other unless we're intimately involved. You can laugh and joke about how it's more comfortable, but you're basically putting yourself at risk to get a punch/kick to your unprotected family jewels.
We'd be remiss if we didn't also call out the ladies that keep the legs wide on the buses and train. They do it too. Or, worse, they try to side-ride the seat. They turn inwards or outwards, keeping their knees in the aisles or jabbing their knees into the thighs of the person next to them. Sit. Straight.
8. The one with the bag
coachcorkyruns This guy is the worst New Yorker ever. And as though it wasn't bad enough, this is on a crowded E train, at 4:30pm, Thanksgiving Eve. ##MTA #fail #selfish #jerk #bagonseat #entitled
Oh, your bag is Chanel? Good for you! Get it off the seat. Do you know how many people put their butts in those seats on a daily basis? A lot. Yes, it's probably cleaner than the floor, but it's not as clean as your lap (hint).
[anad2]
When we ask you to move your overpriced bag, don't roll your eyes at us. You do not deserve two seats just because you have a bag. Unless that bag has a ticket, it doesn't get a seat.
9. The PDA people
subwaycreatures It's like a very aggressive Viagra ad in the subway @andrewdclxvi #subwaycreatures #csc #talktoyourdoctor #fourhourboner #tooaggressive
Look, we get that you two like each other. Or, not... maybe you two just feel such a strong attraction to one another that you cannot cease sucking face. Maybe you guys get off on having an audience. Whatever the case is, leave it off public transportation.
You know that slurping, moist sound from a make out that's just about as uncomfortable as the word "moist?" We don't need to hear it during our morning or evening commute. Have some common decency, and live out your exhibitionist fantasies elsewhere.
Check out 7 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Call It a Night Early in NYC.