It's Father's Day, which for some reason America has decided should be only a month after Mother's Day.
Our bank accounts are not pleased with us.
But they'll have to get over it, because we're always down to show our dads a little appreciation after all they've done for us. They showed us how to throw a football if we're a dude, and told us to keep your legs shut if we're a lady because that's just how life works, apparently.
So every year when this day rolls around, don't dads deserve some love in the form of material goods?
We think so.
Also, be sure to set a reminder on your phone now, so that you can avoid an awkward apology and quiet disappointment from your dad a week after Father's Day when you realize you totally forgot to get him something.
Here are our suggestions for the best Father's Day gifts for your old man this year.
1. Spa Day
Show your outdated gender roles the door! Dudes need pampering too, ya'll. Probably more so than ladies, since an alarming number of them utilize Axe body spray in lieu of actual soap.
But your dad is classier than that, for sure. So give him the chance to kick back like a true gent, and enjoy a full fledged spa day specifically tailored to dudes.
[anad]
John Allen's, which has multiple NYC locations as well as locations in Los Angeles, Toronto, Beverly Hills, and San Francisco, can provide dad with the full luxury pampering experience.
This includes massages, manicures, shoe shines, beard trims and haircuts, all taking place in John Allen's super swanky and indulgent atmosphere.
2. Sports things
Men love sports right? Go sports teams!!
You can get your dad all the sports things so that he can sport as hard as a human has ever sported. Maybe some sports balls? Or sports clothes? Or tickets to sports events?
Whatever sport your dad sports, make sure he is properly sported this Father's Day. #sports.
3. Crate of man stuff
What's better than a giant crate full of all the things society tells us that men should like? Smashing it open with a crow bar, that's what!
This Father's Day, remind your dad that the genetically superior hormone testosterone is flowing through his veins by sending him his very own Man Crate, a unique gift filled with all the goodies he loves.
These packaged gifts come in varieties like Whiskey Appreciation, Grill Master, Beard Wrangler, Caveman, and NFL Barware. #manlymen
4. Strand Bookstore subscription
?tagged=thebookhookup
Everybody loves a good book, especially your dad, who gave you his prized copy of Citizen Kane that you still haven't read.
New York City's best and most famous bookstore, The Strand, now provides subscription service which sends members a signed, first edition book every few months, along with some other goodies.
The current genre selections are Fiction, YA Fiction, and Art/Photography, and will be shipping out this month.
5. Whiskey Flask
We're willing to bet that your dad likes whiskey. After all, what red-blooded, self-respecting man doesn't?
But whatever his liquor of choice, your dad will definitely fall in love with this flask from Brooklyn-based design company, Areaware. The unique designed is achieved through hydroforming, in which two sheets of surgical-grade stainless steel are welded together and inflated with water pressure.
[anad2]
Basically, it'll make your dad feel classy AF, and he'll certainly be talking about it for months on end.
6. Record Player
Before they became a modern hipster fetish, record players were how our parents' generation indulged in the popular music of their time.
And despite the fact that you can find them at Urban Outfitters stocked next to culturally offensive wall decor, record players still make a great gift for your music-loving pops.
Check out these gorgeous Crosley turntables - some of them will cost you a pretty penny, so maybe go in on it with your siblings. Or make them buy it and discretely sign your name to the card. Either way.
Check out 8 Struggles of Having Your Parents Visit Your Filthy AF NYC Apartment.
[Feature Image Courtesy Instagram]