Mornings are tough. Actually, mornings are the worst. If you're a morning person, you may not understand. Let us break it down for you.
When our alarm blares in our ears every morning, it's like being wrenched from heaven. Until we acquire coffee, it's like we're walking around with a jackhammer pounding against our brains.
We spend an inordinate amount of time every morning staring at our cell phones, pleading with the numbers on the clock to stop moving.
We spend an inordinate amount of time every morning staring at our cell phones, pleading with the numbers on the clock to stop moving.
Then, we realize it's the time we were supposed to leave for work, and panic floods our bodies. We spring ourselves out of the best sleep we've ever had, throw on the first clothes we can find, and sprint to the subway.
Basically, the space between first waking up and actually arriving at work are often the worst part of the whole day.
Let us explain.
1. Waking up
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You know what's even tougher than actual mornings? Mornings with Casper.
Their mattress (yeah, there's only one) is made of springy latex and high-density memory foam.
You don't wake up in the middle of the night because the memory foam is too hot, and when you absolutely have to wake up, you're not trapped in a cushion coffin.
The only real struggle with Casper mattress is actually pulling yourself out of such a deep, comfortable sleep.
2. Turning your alarm off
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If you're anything like us, you'll set multiple alarms, and you'll still press snooze again and again.
You've probably got several alarms. The first alarm is set two hours before you need to get up. That was your overly optimistic alarm, the one for making breakfast and actually looking presentable.
You laugh at that alarm and shut it off immediately.
The next alarm is your pragmatic alarm, the one you set with the expectation that you'll actually leave on time. This is the one you press snooze on every eight minutes, again and again.
Suddenly, you glance at the clock and freak out. How did it suddenly become the time you were supposed to have already left?
3. Panicking because you pressed snooze too many times
You realize what time it is, and you come to several other realizations all at once.
There's no way you're going to exercise, make breakfast, pack a lunch, or accomplish any of the tasks you planned last night before you drifted off into that deep, comfortable sleep.
You also have absolutely zero time to do your hair properly, shower, or look even the slightest bit presentable.
You wonder if you can get away with throwing on clothes and running out the door, because that's what's going to have to happen.
This line of panic quickly ebbs to curiosity. Could you miss work today? Do they really need you? You look at your Casper bed. You want it. Don't. Do it.
4. Leaving bed
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You spring out of bed like you're an olympian hurdling a barrier, like you're an elk outrunning a lion. The way you spring out of bed, you're wondering why you never got any attention back in High School gym class. Shouldn't colleges have recruited you for your athleticism?
Once you've left bed, you can't go back in-- no matter how much you want to. Parting from your bed every morning hurts as much as embracing a lover before a long boat voyage. Dated reference and overly dramatic? Probably, but trust us; that's how it really feels.
This is especially true if you've got a Casper bed.
5. Getting ready
At this point, getting ready pretty much consists of splashing water on your face, running a brush through your hair, and throwing on the first clothes you see when you rip open your drawers.
Rifling through drawers, considering other outfits, or attempting to do anything moderately stylish with your hair is completely out of the question.
You've got maybe thirty seconds to get out the door if you hope to arrive at work on time, so the wrinkled pants you wore yesterday will have to do.
6. Making the trek to the subway
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You had no time to eat breakfast nor drink coffee, so you're sort of stumbling through the day in a pre-coffee haze.
You're now disproportionately angry at everyone. You're furious at the cars that turn left on green when you have the walk signal-- how dare they encroach on your time with the walk signal?!
You're even more furious with the crossing guard-- why do we need both a crossing guard and a flashing, electronic sign? The world may never know.
You're trying to walk as fast as you can, but given that you haven't eaten breakfast or drank coffee, this is difficult. The people you hate the most on the street are the ones that pass you on hills.
Hopefully, you've got music, a podcast-- anything bumping in your ears. That'll make this whole thing smoother.
7. Actually getting on the subway
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The future of your job depends on the MTA. Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but everything seems a little more hopeless when you're reliant on the consistent ineptitude of the MTA, right?
Sometimes you'll show up at your station, and the train will screech right up when you get there. That is a hugely underrated victory-- never forget that!
Sometimes, even though you're trying to run down the stairs and dodge everyone around you, you have to watch a train's doors squeal shut, and the train roar off.
This is the real tragedy of the morning, and one you're simply doomed to repeat.
Sometimes you're forced to contend with the horror of seeing the flashing sign say that it's still six minutes until the next train you need.
You must simply embrace the fact that you're going to be late for work and move on, but you still can't help panicking every single one of those six minutes.
8. Maintaining your sanity on the subway
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If there's an open seat, riding the subway can be blissful. If there isn't, it can be Hell. There are some mornings you have to squeeze your way into a train where you're bumped in every direction.
You thought you were furious walking to the subway?
This is nothing compared with the fury you feel for the people who slam into you while getting on the subway, or those dreaded pole leaners who think the pole meant for everyone is their own personal bed. Of course, you feel sad for them because they don't have the amazing Casper bed that you have.
9. Having breakfast
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You stumble off the subway and into the harsh light of day. You require sustenance! You absolutely must grab coffee and something to eat before you get into work if you have any hope of surviving the day.
Luckily, you roll up to your trusty coffee cart, serving the most delicious, hot, caffeine jolts right outside your office. There is beauty in the world after all.
Except for the guy who wants to chat it up with Raheem for an extra hot minute talking some nonsense about how the Giants are going to win the division. Or the lady who was leaning up against the building-- clearly not in line --and demands to cut in front of you because, "Honey, I was here first."
For good measure, you grab one of those excellent cinnamon raisin bagels with cream cheese. Eating this while sipping your coffee as you slide into your desk chair might make everything okay again. All of the struggles melt away with every sip of hot coffee.
Until the next morning, of course.
And if you're looking to try out the luxurious comfort of a Casper mattress, remember you can get $50 Off your Casper mattress when you use discount code "SPOILED" at checkout!