Did you notice it was twelve degrees in New York City this week? Yeah, we did too.
Hopefully you turned your heater on. If you didn't, you probably woke up feeling like you passed out somewhere on an iceberg in Antarctica. Going to work is hard. Going to work in these conditions is even harder.
Getting to work in below freezing temperatures in NYC is a Herculean feat. Every New Yorker should get some kind of medal in the nonexistent "Getting to Work in the Cold" Olympics.
If you've gone to work in NYC in the past couple of days, you feel the struggle. If you're wondering what the next two months are going to be like, it's going to be a lot more of this.
Read on to feel the pain with us. Going to work when it's frigid outside-- when the temperature is in single-digits or negative numbers, is a terrible struggle.
Read on if you were scared you'd get frostbite while you walked to work in NYC this week.
1. Waking up
When your alarm blares, you're jolted back to your cold, awake state. You remember you're only at the beginning of one of the coldest months in a very cold city. You're pretty sure you were dreaming about being on a hot beach in the middle of summer.
Your alarm jolts you back to reality. You grapple with the decision of how many times you can reasonably press snooze. You consider how long it takes you to get to work. You wonder if you should cab or Uber. You press snooze way more times than you should.
Each time you press snooze, you sink back into the warm cocoon of blankets you've built around yourself throughout the night.
2. Wasting time in bed
Just for kicks, you check the weather. LOL! It's way below freezing. You wonder if your blood will freeze when you leave your building.
You take a Snapchat of yourself in that comfy Casper bed of yours with the temperature geotag. Everyone should know how much you're suffering, right?
You check your email. You check your Instagram. You check the weather again just in case it changed. It hasn't-- actually, what's that? Oh, it's now three degrees colder than it was when you checked half an hour ago.
You pull the covers over your face just to relish in the warm nest of your bed for one second longer. You seriously consider quitting your job, or calling out sick. Why can't you call out cold, anyway?
3. Getting out of bed
This is probably the worst part of your whole day, whether it's cold or not. When it's freezing in your room, when your heater has inexplicably turned off in the middle of the night, parting from your bed in the morning is the most painful thing we could imagine.
Of course, this is truer still if you own a Casper mattress. Parting with any bed is a tragedy. Parting with the most universally comfortable mattress in existence is a daily trauma, especially when it's freezing.
Especially when your mattress has contoured itself to your body; you feel like you've slipped into the nirvana of the mattress, and you're not even sure where the mattress ends and you start.
Still, you do it. You wrench ourself out of the heavenly bliss of your bed, and stand up. Immediately, a wall of coldness slams into you. It's just as bad as you thought it'd be.
4. Getting ready
You run to the bathroom because your apartment floor is so cold your feet cry out in pain.
Washing your face is agony. You've turned the sink all the way to hot, and it's still not hot enough. You brush your teeth in hot water just for fun, just because anything cold sounds like a nightmare to you right now.
Getting dressed is terrible because you have to undress to get dressed. Could you put your work clothes on over your pajamas? You try, but your work clothes are all frumpy that way.
Finally, you succumb to the torture of getting all the way undressed, and as quickly as you can, you get dressed again. You're dressing for warmth, not fashion. On goes your turtleneck, and a sweater on top. Yes, you do wear multiple pairs of socks.
You blow dry your hair weather your hair is wet or not. The warmth is beautiful. You wish you could blow dry your hair all day.
5. Getting out the door
The hardest part about getting out the door is gathering up all your winter pieces. Where's your hat, your scarf, and your gloves?
Of course, you've lost one of the pieces. You've probably lost a single glove, and that's the single-most frustrating possibility. Now you have to decide whether to just wear one glove and have disproportionately cold hands, or wear no gloves and have equally cold hands.
You probably decide to wear no gloves, and you pledge to go to Duane Reade and get a pair today. You wonder how lucrative the winter wear industry is. You decide it's a moneymaker.
Regrettably, you leave your apartment.
6. Walking to the subway
At least you're not alone. You're joined on the sidewalk by dozens of NYC compatriots, all of whom are shivering in huge coats, giant hats, scarves and gloves.
You're wondering if this is the coldest you've ever been. You decide it probably isn't, but that doesn't stop every muscle in your body from screaming out in protest.
Each breath is freezing, and putting your feet down too hard shoots a jolt of pain up your leg. Before long, these cold breaths feel like a long drink of water, and your whole body is numb.
7. Getting on the subway
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Since your whole body is numb, stepping past the subway turnstile reminds you that you even have a body.
The warmth of the subway platform washes over you, and you never thought you'd be this grateful for your dirty, dilapidated subway station.
It only takes a couple of seconds for the heat to become too much. Soon, you're sweating in your hat, your scarf is oppressive, and you feel suffocated in your coat.
You start unravelling. You unzip your coat, untwist your scarf, take off your hat and shove it in your bag. Finally, you can breathe again.
The train roars up and you step on. You don't even care about finding a seat. You're just glad you don't have to talk to work.
8. Getting to work
As the subway screeches up to the stop you have to get off at to get to work on time, you very briefly consider staying on the train.
Then, reluctantly, you put back on your hat, scarves, and you re-zip your coat. You scroll through your phone to find the most motivational song you have, and you re-dedicate yourself to your resolve. You are going to persevere, and you will make it to work.
By the time you actually make it through the freezing cold walk, into the lobby, up the elevator and into your office, you're still traumatized by the whole morning, no matter how warm it is in your office.
You spend the first several hours of your morning doing work with your coat on. You don't take your scarf off until lunch.
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