It's officially the holiday season! Turkey's done and done!

Red cups at Starbucks, the sudden urge to listen exclusively to a Mariah Carey song from 1995, and a drunken relative blaring on about the war on Christmas...it must be December! 

And you must be broke AF, fam. 

Flights to see family ain't cheap and neither is all the food and booze you've been using to self-medicate your way through the horror show that was 2016.

Let's end this year on a high note and let's do it by spending as little dough as humanly possible!

Because come 2017, who the f*ck knows what fresh hell awaits? Here's the best free stuff going down in our beloved city this month!


1. Union Square Holiday Market (December 1st- 24th)

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This European style market features vendors from all over New York state and city. Taste local sweets and and speak with craft artisans about their products as you stroll through the market in search of the perfect holiday gift. 

The best part about finding a gift at the Union Square Holiday Market is that gifts are so unique you'll have everyone on your list saying "only in New York." CUTE!

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Union Square Holiday Market runs till December 24th at the Southern side of Union Square Park.


2. Drunken Shakespeare (December 5th)


Wouldn't it be nice to see some Elizabethan-style drama that's not real life? To watch some absurd characters hurl insults at each other knowing it won't really affect us? Yeah, I'd like that.

Drunken Shakespeare is free to attend and to participate in! That's right, you can go and get in on the action! Pre-game at home! Get rowdy! This whole thing is starting to sound a bit Westworld, no?

Drunken Shakespeare takes place Monday Nights at 8pm at Bar 9, 807 9th Avenue.


3. Draper Font Bold (December 5th)

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Mixed medium artist Ronald Draper, hailing from Harlem will be unveiling “#Draper Font Bold” this month. Draper is known for his messages of social change and empowerment. He uses different mediums, such as glass, spray paint, disco balls, and even lipstick in certain instances.

In collaboration with The Culture LP, “#Draper Font Bold,” is a celebration of progressive artwork and years of partnership. Bringing his creative flair to life, much of his work will consist of large scale wooden-cut outs and mixed media creations with his bold and signature typography.

Don’t miss out! RSVP here to enjoy complimentary drinks and hydration by Clique Vodka and Essentia water.


4. 2016 Holiday Handmade Cavalcade and Sip 'n' Shop (December 5th- 11th)

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Head to Chelsea Market to find the perfect gift for everyone on your holiday list. Over 50 local independent vendors will be showcasing handmade wares including jewelry, stationary, art, beauty products, clothing, and more.

The Sip 'n' Shop event, which is also free, starts at 6:30; you'll get to enjoy a cocktail while you mingle with the artists and shop. Also, the first 100 guests will get a Swag Bag filled with goodies from the Etsy NY Street Team.

Entrance is free if you RSVP on EventBrite, but $2 at the door.


5. HP Magical Holiday Ball (December 9th)

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Break out your dress robes, Potterheads, and head to the Tribeca Barnes & Nobles for dancing, music, and general Harry Potter fun. There will be Harry Potter-themed crafts, wizarding games, and "spellbinding surprises," which we bet means some giveaways.

You can call 212.587.5389 to reserve your spot, they are capping at 150 people since they can't use an enlargement charm unfortunately, but every other Barnes & Nobles in NYC will also be hosting this event, so check them out too.


6. Free Winter Dance Party (December 10th)

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This quiet dance party is rain or shine– show up at 7 p.m. to grab a pair of special wireless headphones. You'll be able to choose between up to three DJ's that are color coded, so you can dance near people listening to the same music as you.

The party goes down at Brookfield Place, so there are dope views and local food vendors just steps away. Reserve your spot here!


7. Merry Tuba Christmas!!! (December 11th)

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Now that I have heard the phrase "Tuba Christmas" I will never un-hear it and I want to spread it's goodness to all who live. 

Here's the deal: You go to Rockefeller Center, if you already HAVE a tuba...BRING IT. PLAY IT. With OTHER TUBAS. If you DON'T have a tuba: Just show up at Rock Center and enjoy the sooting sounds of many a tuba playing holiday classics from the skating rink. Wow. What a time to be alive.

Merry Tuba Christmas is happening to all of us at 3:30pm at The Rink at Rockefeller Center


8. Kings Theatre Winter Wonderland (December 11th)

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Check out the recently restored Kings Theatre in Brooklyn for a Holiday Open House.

There will be a live petting zoo in the courtyard, pictures with Santa, holiday coloring pages, free hot cider, and snacks for purchase. This event is also free and open to the public.


9. NVR Sleep - Summer in the Winter (December 14th)

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NVR Sleep is back this month at Kinfolk 90 in Williamsburg. Holllaaaaaa!

But damn, if it ain't getting cold outside. Winter's on its way, so they're throwing it back to the days of sweat with Summer in the Winter.

spoiled Creative Director Rodney Hazard is back at it again this month with NVR Sleep – Summer in the Winter. What can you expect? 5 hours of dance, drink, and good vibes. Or, you know, everything you’ve come to expect from NVR Sleep.


10. Unsilent Night (December 18th)

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This one is so cool. Very GRAMMABLE, people. Artist Phil Kline describes Unsilent Night as an "idea for a public artwork in the form of a holiday caroling party." 

The idea grew from there: on December 18th, Kline is asking participants to bring a portable instrument (boombox, wireless speaker, megaphone, etc.) and to download one of 4 tracks provided here. Participants are asked to meet in Washington Square Park at 5:45pm and to turn up the volume!

Unsilent Night meets at 5:45pm in Washington Square Park.


11. Make Music Winter (December 21st)

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After doling out cash on presents for loved ones, it might be a hot minute before you're able to go to a concert again. Luckily, you can go to several live shows in one day thanks to Make Music Winter! 

And they're all FREE! Taking place on the day of the Winter Solstice, Make Music Winter is an outdoor music celebration that encourages audiences participation with 13 musical parades traveling throughout New York City. 

There's "African Echoes" at Old Fulton Plaza (show up ready to sing!), "Flat Foot Flatbush" at the M&T Bank in Flatbush, BK (bring your dancing shoes!), and many more.

Make Music Winter takes place at various locations and times throughout NYC, check here for details!


12. Good Riddance Day (December 28th)

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Got something from 2016 you'd like to forget? LOL of course you do you're a human that is alive in 2016! 

Times Square Alliance & Shred-It are hosting a "shred" of bad/embarrassing memories. Go ahead and submit 'em here and then head over to Times Square to see them shredded right before your very eyes!


13. New Year's Eve (December 31st)

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This one is not for the feint of heart, kiddos! NYE in NYC is not to be f*cked with. A ball made of 2,688 crystal triangles and 32,256 LEDs will be dropped from 70 feet in the air, a sh*t ton of fire works and confetti are gonna happen, Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper will be there, and so will a large portion of New York. 

If you are going to survive this here are the things you need to know: 

1) No public restrooms. Yup. Pee before you go! 2) People start arriving VERY early in the day. Like, 3pm to get a spot. So again. PEE BEFORE YOU GO. 3) Bring snacks! Cuz who doesn't want snacks?

Best way into Times Square on NYE will be 42nd between Broadway and 7th Avenue, starting around 3 p.m.

[Feature Image Courtesy Mic.com] 

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